When love is in the air, so is money

Love comes at a price. How well I know. This October, I will host my third wedding in eight years — not all mine, thank goodness. The first was mine, a lovely, curated affair for 50 guests. Two years ago, my older daughter got married in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, at the groom’s parents’ home. Coordinating a Wyoming wedding from Florida while the pandemic loomed required faith and fortitude. Now, my younger daughter is getting married closer to my home.

Though we’ve been lucky in love, my girls and I, it’s been an expensive decade. Granted, a wedding is probably the biggest party you, and certainly I, will ever throw, and while talking about the associated costs is probably poor etiquette, we’re family here. So, for those of you hosting a milestone celebration in the future, nuptial or otherwise, I am passing along lessons I have stumbled into — some I even used, some I wish I had — that may save you hundreds, even thousands of dollars, while still letting you create a magical memory.

Of course, no one wants to begrudge a bride of all the trappings that will create a gorgeous, meaningful wedding day. However, like so many special occasions, commercial interests often swoop in and take advantage of the vulnerable and sentimental. (Don’t get me started on coffin shopping.) It’s the American way.

To get some perspective, I looked up current wedding statistics. These numbers helped me feel if not better, at least less alone:

• According to the Wedding Report, the price tab for the average U.S. wedding last year was $30,119, including costs for the venue, caterer, photographer, florist, attire, entertainment, cake, rings, wedding planner and invitations.

• The price range is great. The most affordable U.S. wedding destination is Kansas City, Missouri, with a total average cost of $16,204, says a study by JJ’s House, which specializes in wedding attire. Globally, Switzerland tops the list of countries that spend the most on weddings at an average cost of $44,050.

• The average cost per wedding guest in the United States is $300, according to the Knot Worldwide’s 2024 Global Wedding Report, which surveyed 25,000 newlyweds. The average guest list is 115.

Now I’m not suggesting you have your daughter’s wedding at a public park and serve rigatoni and jug wine on plastic tablecloths. But before you say “elope,” consider the following 12 ways I have found you can host a beautiful celebration, and cut costs in ways no one will notice:

• Trim the guest list. I would rather have an elegant event for fewer guests than a subpar affair for a horde.

• Have the ceremony and reception in the same place. This way, vendors who need to be at both won’t charge for travel or transition time. One location also saves on transportation costs and inconvenience for your guests.

• Look for resale or display sample dresses, many of which have never been worn. Buying one can save you thousands. Look for veils on Etsy or make your own. Avoid bridal shops when looking for a mother-of-the-bride dress, unless you want to overpay to look like a vertical sofa.

• Skip the envelope liner and novel sizes. When ordering invitations, choose a standard 5-inch-by-7-inch size. Larger or unusual shapes will cost more to mail. Adding envelope liners, while pretty, will make invitations more expensive and add weight, thus postage.

• Pass on the champagne toast. Have guests toast the newlyweds with the drink they have in hand. They can get a glass of bubbles at the bar. For our event, the price for the caterer to distribute glasses of champagne was $5 per guest, or $500, on top of the cost for a tended bar.

• Repurpose flowers. Flowers can make the day, but they add up. Choose bigger blooms that are in season. Keep bouquets simple, and reuse large flower arrangements from the ceremony at the reception.

• Say no to favors. No one needs more stuff. We had gold stemless wineglasses made as favors for my older daughter’s wedding. We put the box under a table, intending to hand the glasses out as guests left — only we forgot. They ended up in the recycle bin.

• End the paper trail. Printed materials, such as engagement announcements, save-the-date cards and wedding programs, which ultimately litter the venue, are trending down, according to the latest Wedding Report. Couples want less paper waste. Many send save-the-dates electronically.

• Cut the cake costs. Much ado is made about the cake, and guests love the cake-cutting tradition. But you don’t need to order your cake from a premium bakery. Many local grocery store bakeries can make lovely, tiered cakes for a lot less.

• Keep the bridal party small. Though this may not always be possible, you will save on bouquets, boutonnieres and attendant gifts. Our upcoming wedding will have one bridesmaid and one groomsman, the sister and brother of the bride and groom.

• Keep surrounding parties to a minimum. You are not responsible for pre- and post-wedding day entertainment.

• Do not try this at home. If you think a home-based wedding will save money, think again. For an at-home wedding, you need to bring in everything from tents to tables to toilets, plates, glassware and linens. You will likely save money and definitely stress if you book an all-inclusive venue.

Marni Jameson is the author of seven books including “Rightsize Today to Create Your Best Life Tomorrow,” “What to Do With Everything You Own to Leave the Legacy You Want,” and “Downsizing the Family Home.” You may reach her at marni@marnijameson.com.