How do I help my grieving girlfriend?

DEAR DEIDRE: Since my girlfriend lost her mum, she’s been keeping me at arm’s length.

I’ve tried everything I can to support her but it’s as if she doesn’t believe that I care.

She’s 45, I’m 52 and we’ve been together a year.

From the moment we met we’ve been inseparable. Even at my age, I fell hard for her and was so excited as we were starting our future together.

But when her mother died suddenly in a car crash, everything changed.

The bubbly, bright woman I had fallen in love with became a shell of herself. She was so close to her mum and it broke me seeing her in so much pain.

Since then things have been strained between us. I’ve tried my hardest to help her through this, but it’s as if she’s doing everything she can to distance herself from me.

Every time I call or text her it takes her days to get back to me, and even when we’re together she barely engages.

I’ve tried my best to be patient with her but it’s been months and we feel so far apart.

Just last week she said that she didn’t know if she even wanted to be in a relationship. I’m at a loss for what to do. Where to go from here?

DEIDRE SAYS: When a loved one dies it can be exhausting and emotionally draining.

It’s likely your partner has only just started to accept her mum is no longer here, which is perhaps why she is pushing you away.

The best thing you can do is give her the space she’s asked for, but let her know you want to be with her when she’s ready.

My support pack Coping With Bereavement contains lots of information and resources.

Try to decide how long you are willing to wait – and if she still isn’t ready by then, let her know you need to start moving on.