My partner ran off with a new man while I took care of her dying mother
DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner betrayed me while I took care of her dying mother.
I only found out after a holiday company called our home phone asking about an all-inclusive stay at a resort.
I’m a 53-year-old man, and my ex is 55.
We had been living together for five years, and I used to take care of her mother before she passed away.
I told the company they must have made a mistake, but they were able to tell me my partner’s name and our address.
My partner denied knowing anything about an all-inclusive, so I just moved on, thinking it was a mistake.
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Then three weeks later, when my mother-in-law passed away, my partner ran off with her new man.
Soon after I heard that they went on an all-inclusive break, which has made me think she was cheating all along.
It’s a bitter pill to swallow.
I spent three and a half years looking after my mother-in-law so my girlfriend could work, go out with her friends, and even go on holiday.
I fed my mother-in-law, did her laundry, and visited her every day at the end when she was in a hospice.
I was the main carer and my life was dedicated to my mother-in-law, but my partner was happy, so I never complained.
I just wanted to take the stress off her shoulders.
But the reality was I put my life on hold, I lost contact with friends and didn’t pursue a career because caring took over.
So now I’m left with absolutely nothing.
I’m struggling to process it all, and I don’t know what to do. My world has fallen apart.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: This will have been a horrendous shock for you.
Not only have you lost a woman you have cared for, you’ve also lost your partner.
My bereavement support pack aims to explain the feelings we experience while we grieve for someone we were close to.
Unfortunately, you cannot control how your ex-partner behaves.
You have been treated badly by her so don’t pressurise yourself to move on quickly.
It’s important that you take your time to process things properly.
Please take pride in the fact you took good care of her mum when she needed someone.
You are clearly a good person.
My support pack Mending Your Broken Heart will allow you to pick up the pieces and move on with your life.