My body won’t let me have sex with my boyfriend
DEAR DEIDRE: Although I really want to have sex with my new boyfriend, my body won’t let me.
Every time we try, I can’t relax enough to allow penetrative sex to take place. I went to a sexual health clinic and they think I have something called Vaginismus, but I don’t know what that is.
My new man is gorgeous. He’s 28, tall, dark and handsome and I’ve known him for two months, since we met online.
I’m a woman of 25 and I’ve not had a relationship for two years. The last one fell apart because I couldn’t have sex with my ex-boyfriend.
Now this relationship looks as if it’s going the same way.
I don’t understand what’s wrong. My boyfriend turns me on, we have lots of foreplay, kissing and cuddling but sex is physically impossible.
Please help.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Vaginismus is a condition in which the walls of the vagina become very tense and stay clamped shut, making it impossible to have intercourse.
It has various causes, including fear of sex or some past trauma, or it can occur because of multiple infections or childbirth.
Help is available. There are treatments that you can try yourself, or you can have a treatment prescribed through your doctor.
Take time to explore your body, without your partner there. Use lubrication to help you to learn to relax and understand what feels good, and you can then guide your boyfriend’s hands when you are next intimate.
My support packs, Sex Too Painful and Understanding Female Pleasure, will help you too.
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