Mum said I looked like a beached whale in holiday snaps – she was right, parents should tell their kids if they’re fat

WHEN Gemma Hall, 28, showed off her holiday snaps to mum Jayne, she got a dose of tough love she wasn’t expecting.

But Gemma is glad her mum didn’t mince her words, while Jayne insists other parents should take a leaf out of her straight-talking book…

Rebecca Lupton 2024.

Gemma Hall, was stunned at her mum Jayne’s reaction to her holiday snaps[/caption]

SITTING in the living room, I proudly swiped through my holiday ­photos on my phone, showing them off to my mum, Jayne.

Glowing with a golden tan after a week in Spain with two friends, I was itching to recount all the fun I’d had while taking a break from my job as an employment consultant.

“What do you think of my new green bikini?” I asked.

I thought I looked pretty good in it.

But the look on her face worried me — she seemed awkward.

“The bikini is a nice colour,” she said. “But Gemma . . . you look like a beached whale in it!”

It wasn’t the reaction I’d hop­ed for from my 59-year-old mum.

“Oh, cheers Mum,” I gasped, shocked.

I knew she was a straight talker, but her comment came totally out of the blue.

At size 16, I realised I’d gained weight, but hearing Mum be so blunt about it at our home in Manchester was a bombshell.

For a second, I sat thinking: “My mum has just told me I’m fat.”

My gut response was to cry. Then I wondered if she was just having a laugh.

It turned out she wasn’t. My mum thought I was overweight.

Now, a year on, I am so pleased she had the guts and strength to be so blunt.

Her honesty prompted me to lose weight, get healthier and happier.

People’s size and weight is something we all tiptoe around. But maybe we shouldn’t.

Mum showed me it’s OK to adopt a sledgehammer approach. In fact, sometimes it’s the only way.

And it’s increasingly necessary.

Government figures from May revealed that between 2022 and 2023, 64 per cent of adults in England were estimated to be overweight or obese.

This was an increase from 2020 to 2021 (63.3 per cent).

Obesity is usually defined as having a body mass index (BMI) of 30 or above.

BMI between 25 and 29.9 is classified as overweight and, at my biggest, mine fluctuated between 28 and 31.

‘UNHEALTHY HABITS’

So instead of crying and tucking into a hamburger, I went to my bedroom and looked in the mirror.

There, I realised Mum, a travel executive, was being kind, not callous.

It was the first time in my life I’d gained so much weight and the fact I was having to buy size 14-16 clothes was the proof.

It was the kick I needed to get back into shape.

Since she made her comment last June, I’ve swapped my size 16 bikini for a size eight, dropping from 12st to 9st.

I had got into unhealthy eating habits during lockdown.

I’d have a sausage butty for breakfast, a burger or cream cheese melt for lunch and pizza for dinner.

I was treating myself to Deliveroos while on Zoom calls with my mates — it was our way of “going out” while staying in.

If Mum made healthy meals, I’d then snack in my room on chocolates or crisps.

When I started my “get fit” plan, I switched to fresh fruit, veg and lean meats and used the Couch To 5k app to help me get moving more.

I took up walking and cycling and started to really enjoy it.

My “fat” clothes became baggy as gradually, over eight months, the weight started to fall away.

That’s when I had an idea — I’d sell them on Vinted.

Surprisingly, my old big bikinis meant big bucks.

Previously, when I had sold my size eight clothes on eBay or Vinted, they would take a while to shift.

But when I posted my bigger outfits, it was just the opposite.

They sold straight away, showing larger sizes are much more in demand.

I also posted pictures of myself in them, so buyers could see how they looked in real life.

I’ve made £600 in two months, which is going towards a house deposit.

‘EMPOWERING’

I never thought Mum saying I looked like a beached whale would have such a positive impact.

Losing weight has improved my confidence — I’ve bought a new wardrobe, get compliments when I go out and I’ve started dating again.

Being my old size again is empowering.

Her words might have initially been like a dagger in the heart, but they were a miracle cure.

It might not be “woke” to tell someone they’re fat, but it was what I needed.

I’M NO FAT-SHAMER … I WANT HER TO BE HAPPY

MUM-of one Jayne, married to Geoff, 65, a gas engineer, says:
“SOME people will likely be shocked by what I said to Gemma and label me a fat-shamer, but they’d be wrong.

I’m just a mum who loves her daughter.

Rebecca Lupton 2024.

Jayne says she didn’t intend to fat-shame her daughter but just wanted her to be healthy[/caption]

Gemma and I are incredibly close and as she still lives at home, I can be very blunt.

The picture of her in the green bikini was a shock and I didn’t mean to express my surprise like I did.

My giggle as I said it was masking my concern – Gemma picked up on that straight away.

I also knew that if I didn’t say something, I’d be wiping away Gemma’s tears of frustration later, because her favourite outfits didn’t fit, or she couldn’t wear trendy fashions.

She’d also likely come to me and ask: “Why didn’t you say something?”

I wasn’t forcing her to lose weight, either.

My love for her doesn’t change depending on her size. I just want her to be happy and healthy.

I’ve always been a size 12 and maintained it by healthy eating, having a busy job and running after my daughter.

Some topics – like weight – are becoming taboo, which isn’t helping anyone.

People need to know they’re piling on the pounds so they can tackle it.

Luckily, Gemma and I tell each other everything.

When she got spots, I offered advice.

After break-ups, I’m there to wipe away tears.

But it works both ways.

She’ll tell me if my outfits are un­flattering, or if my grey roots are showing.

And my approach got results. Gemma put in a lot of effort to shed the pounds. Now she looks a million dollars and she’s much healthier.

I’m proud of her and it stands her in good stead for the rest of her life.

Obesity is linked to many illnesses, such as heart disease, vascular dementia and stroke, and I dread the thought of her getting them.

It’s important to be able to take criticism on the chin.

She’s my girl and I love every inch of her. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t glad there is now less to love.”