Finding Their Voice: Trisha and Jene Sena speak up for survivors of trauma

There's a saying that when something bad happens to you, you have three choices; let it destroy you, let it define you or let it strengthen you. A local family living through a traumatic experience not only chose strength, they added a fourth choice; to help others.

(NEWS10) - There's a saying that when something bad happens to you, you have three choices; let it destroy you, let it define you or let it strengthen you. A local family living through a traumatic experience not only chose strength, they added a fourth choice; to help others.

In a dining room turned into a recording studio, Jene and Trisha Sena give voice to their lives as friends ... as sisters-in-law ... and the bond that turned them into the "Sisterhood of the Survivors." Trisha told listeners of the podcast they record weekly, "It's time to change the narrative when it comes to Charlotte, she is not a victim, she's a survivor, she is brave."

"She is not a victim, she's a survivor, she is brave."

The world came to know the bravery of Trisha's daughter for a terrible reason; Charlotte was kidnapped while riding her bike in Moreau Lake State Park, sparking a massive search. She was rescued two days later and when the suspect was convicted, she signed her victim impact statement, "With no fear, Charlotte."

It's also the name of the first episode of the podcast. NEWS10's Lydia Kulbida watched as the two taped more episodes before sitting down together for an interview.

"The big first question is how is Charlotte?" asked Lydia.

"She is doing good, she is doing really well all things considered," her mom Trisha replied. "Like I'm not going to sit here and say every day is great because she's human and every day is not great, just like it's not great for you and it's not great for me but I will say she works very hard to have good days, she puts in the work. She's doing great at school, she still participates in student council, and as a matter of fact, she did a play which is so out of her comfort zone, but I feel like this unfortunate experience has given her like a new sense of confidence and bravery where she feels like, 'I can do it.' It was so shocking for us to watch because she would literally do her little scene and she would curtsy and walk off the stage which for those that know Charlotte, it is so out of character for her to do something like that. But like I said she's putting in the work she's doing the hard things and she's having the conversations. She's working hard to just be a 9-year-old girl doing 9-year-old girl things."

"This was a predator out looking for prey."

That work started for the entire family as soon as Charlotte was released from the hospital after her rescue.

"So it was 4:30 in the morning, everybody is insanely tired, that's really an understatement," recalled Trisha, "and I'm sitting in the rocking chair, she's sitting on this little antique couch that we have, and she just looks directly over at me and she said I just decided that I am moving on and I'm not letting this ruin my life. She could've sat down and said this ruined my life and I'm never going to be the same, she chose not to do that then and she continues not to choose that every day and that's what I mean by she puts in the work. She works hard to have good days and not let things bring her down."

It's something Trisha works hard on too, "You know when your child is in pain, you want to take it away? That's your natural reaction I want to take it away, I want to undo what was done, and you can't, what happened happened and that was really hard to accept."

What happened to their family, that day, could have happened to anyone.

Jene underscored what was revealed in court, "They were able to track his GPS in his truck and show that he had been at the Great Escape, in the parking lot for a while, he went to Skidmore College, he went through the campsite loop a couple of times. He waited for his opportunity so if it wasn't going to be Charlotte it was going to be somebody else's child. This was a predator out looking for prey."

The family that had been thrust into public life at first withdrew, learning how to move forward together by shutting out the world. But they couldn't stop the mom shaming and victim blaming.

"Just try to be nice, don't say the mean thing."

Jene shielded the family at first when Charlotte was kidnapped by being the family spokesperson, but she noted, "The one thing I guess I couldn't really shield you from? Was what people were saying to you on social media. I think people felt invested in Charlotte, felt like they knew her, felt like they knew us, felt comfortable enough to say something so horrible to us, I don't know what it is."

The comments that caused them so much pain accused them of being neglectful parents, and it took a toll on their emotional well-being. Trisha voiced her frustration, "I don't know what to do, I don't know how to talk to people, I don't know if I should show emotion, not show emotion, and it is those feelings that were coming from the comments in the back of my mind about people judging me and my family and judging you so these are the ramifications of their actions. And then all of a sudden you're like am I a good mom, am I a good person ..." As Trisha started to cry, Jene consoled her, "It's a shame you have to feel that way."

But they also remembered, "For every one person who tried to break my heart, there were a thousand others who healed it so it is important to mention that."

The two ended the second episode of their podcast with a challenge to everyone on social media, "Just try to be nice, don't say the mean thing," Trisha said as Jene added to be kind to everybody, "and I guarantee you we'd be a lot happier as a society if we could pick each other up, instead of kick each other while we were down. Look at other people as if you're looking in a mirror, and say the things you wished someone would say to you because in reality, I feel like we're making these comments because we're hurting too."

Speaking up is a form of healing the hurt for them but the podcast is just one step as they advocate for victims, survivors and their families. Charlotte did her part putting away the perpetrator, now it's their turn to change laws and protect others said Trisha, "Though I can't take it away from Charlotte our goal now working together is to help children this happens to the next time because unfortunately, there's going to be a next time. There's always going to be a next time."

"We're going to use that power and we're going to make changes."

Working with lawmakers, the next steps in their journey include strengthening sentencing laws, protecting victims' privacy and ensuring their role in a court case is less traumatic. Jene explained, "This bill has many measures that will make a victim more comfortable, for example, she'll be in a separate room to testify, she'll never have to face her attacker."

In addition to meeting with lawmakers, they've spoken with Mary Lyall who started the Center for Hope after her daughter Suzanne disappeared in 1998. They're inspired by her advocacy that's led to the strengthening of federal and state laws. The "New York State Campus Security Act" signed by Governor George Pataki in 2000 requires all colleges and universities to develop plans for a prompt investigation of missing students and violent offenses committed on campus. "Suzanne's Law" signed by President George Bush in 2003 provides increased protection for missing young adults ages 18-21. 

Trisha and Jene have also been inspired by kidnapping survivor Elizabeth Smart, who bravely faced her attacker in court and then became an advocate for victims. They recently spoke with her when Smart hosted "Banfield" on NewsNation.

"It is the only way I feel we can move on is to say this is something that happened, it does not define us and we are going to take that frustration and we are going to turn it into power and then we're going to use that power and we're going to make changes," promised Trisha. "I want Charlotte to be proud of me, and I know she is and I am very proud of her but it is important to me that she knows and understands that we are doing this because of her bravery."

Her mom says Charlotte wants to help others when she grows up as a therapist and an author. Trisha even envisions her taking over the podcast in the future when she grows up. "She had her choice and her power taken from her, and that is just hard as a parent so I include her because I want her to feel powerful. I want her to feel like she has a say. If she said I hate that idea, I don't want you to be talking about me, then we wouldn't be doing it because I want her to feel like she has control. She lost it for a minute but she has regained full control now." When Trisha asked her, "What do you hope we do or accomplish and she said I hope you can help a lot of people. Her 9-year-old little self said to me I hope that you can help people when you do this."

As Trisha wiped away her tears, she looked towards a better future, "And that's part of the podcast is that we can do hard things even when they're painful because something really good can come out of the end."