My boyfriend died in a freak accident, then my love rat fiance had heart attack – I feel free after learning the truth
Kaitlin, 38, had lost her previous boyfriend Mike in a freak accident on her 30th birthday.
And she was left reeling when she discovered that Eric had been living a double life, deceiving her with another woman.
But now she says she finally feels ready to date again.
Kaitlin from Long Island, USA, struggled to come to terms with the tragedy, and felt totally alone.
Now she wants to move on.
“It was like I was trapped in a movie, one with a hideous plot twist,” she said.
“The relationship I thought I’d had, the man I’d grieved for, the whole thing was a lie.
“I was desperate for everyone to share my outrage, but many people didn’t want to know.
“When someone dies, people don’t want to hear the bad things they did.
“He loved you, I heard over and over.
“But that wasn’t love.
“I’d been heart broken by a love rat.
“Now I’m working on accepting that I will never know how Eric felt about me.”
“I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety, and I’m in therapy.
“But I want to speak about what I’ve been through.
“I’m glad I know the truth as I can now date without being haunted by the shadow of my perfect man.
“In that sense I’m now free.”
Kaitlin and Eric had been together for two years, but she uncovered his secret affair when she started sharing her grief online.
She came across an Instagram tribute to someone who had the same name and birthday as her late partner.
Horrified, Kaitlin reached out to the woman who had made the post and discovered that they had both been dating Eric at the same time.
The unnamed woman had met Eric on a dating app in 2019 and shared screenshots of their flirty conversations with Kaitlin.
Eric had sent sexual messages to the other woman just days before their wedding day in August 2020.
Five years earlier her previous boyfriend Mike also died in a freak accident.
He fell unconscious after slipping into water whilst they were celebrating her 30th birthday and died six days later.
Kaitlin said Eric was very supportive in helping her come to terms with the pain of Mike’s sudden death.
She has been treated for PTSD and depression, and said: “I was heartbroken all over again.
“I’d been grieving for a man I loved – but it turned out I didn’t know him at all.
“Now I know the truth I’m angry, and I will not spend one more minute missing him.”
What happens if your partner dies
You may need to handle some tough personal and legal decisions:
- Plan the funeral
- Close bank accounts
- Place pets in new homes
- Pay final bills
But you may be entitled to some benefits including:
- Funeral Expenses Payment – to help towards the cost of a funeral if you’re on a low income
- Bereavement Support Payment – if your husband, wife or civil partner died in the last 21 months
- Widowed Parent’s Allowance – if you have at least one dependent child
- You’ll need to make a new claim for Child Benefit if you were not the person named as the claimant on the original claim form.
Phone the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) Bereavement Service 0800 151 2012 to check if:
- you can get bereavement benefits
- the death will affect any other benefits you’re already claiming.
Need professional help with grief?
- Child Bereavement UK Childbereavementuk.org
- Cruse Bereavement Cruse.org.uk
- Relate Relate.org.uk
- The Good Grief Trust Thegoodgrieftrust.org
- You can also always speak to your GP if you’re struggling.
Check out these books, podcasts and apps that all expertly navigate grief…
- Griefcast: Cariad Lloyd interviews comedians on this award-winning podcast.
- The Madness Of Grief by Rev Richard Coles (£9.99, W&N)
- Terrible, Thanks For Asking: Podcast host Nora McInerny encourages non-celebs to share how they’re really feeling.
- Good Mourning by Sally Douglas and Imogen Carn (£14.99, Murdoch Books)
- Grief Works: Download this for daily meditations and expert tips.
- How To Grieve Like A Champ by Lianna Champ (£3.99, Red Door Press)