I led a secret double life and lied to my family for years, I didn’t want to upset them – and I was right to be worried
CREEPING out the front door, Keshia King closes it shut as quietly as she can.
That’s because she’s sneaking out to meet a man who is almost 30 years older than she is – and six years older than her mum, who she’s certain will disapprove.
Keshia, 31, from Rochester, Kent, had kept her boyfriend Ian Lugrin, 58, underwraps since the pair met on Bumble BFF, the dating app’s friend-making service.
She says: “Whenever mum asked where I was off to, I’d tell her I was seeing a friend.
“Once a week, Ian and I always made sure to venture out of the area to avoid being seen.”
Their friendship turned to romance and three years later they fell in love after both their relationships ended.
I felt guilty for hiding Ian all that time, but I just wanted everyone to love him like I did
Keshia
But with 27 years between them, Keshia kept Ian a secret and for three years, she lived a double-life, hiding him from her family, even when they began living together.
Keshia has since come out about her romance and claims she’s the happiest she has ever been, insisting age is just a number.
The mobile nail technician, says: “Ian and I have had a lot of obstacles, but it’s all been worth it.
“I felt guilty for hiding Ian all that time, but I just wanted everyone to love him like I did.
“I hope others know to never judge a book by its cover. Ian’s the best thing that has ever happened to me.”
In 2017, Keshia, then aged 24, lived with her mum in Kent and joined ‘Bumble BFF’ which helped match up people who were looking to make friends.
She says: “But after being made redundant, I moved to Rochester that year to live with my mum.
“I was new to the area and feeling lonely, so I went on Bumble BFF in the hopes of making new friends.
“I didn’t set an age range as it didn’t matter to me, and days later I matched with Ian.
“His profile stated he was 52 and lived 150 miles away in Bournemouth.
“We got messaging and Ian said he wanted some company after things were not going well with his marriage.
“He was lovely to talk to, especially as he had more life experience at his age.
“He and his wife had been together for 15 years and it was ending.
“He was a lovely, charismatic guy and I considered him a good mate.”
Over the years, Ian, a builder, confided in Keshia about his life whilst Keshia got a boyfriend her own age.
Every few months, they met between Kent and Bournemouth for coffee catch ups.
But in 2020, after three years, both of their relationships had ended and Ian relocated to Kent.
Keshia says: “He fancied a fresh start, and I was already a familiar face there.
“We went for drinks, dinners and nights out. Ian was so funny and witty.
“I realised I was falling for him and one night we both confessed our feelings.
Whenever mum wanted to visit, I’d have a panic. I’d tell Ian to pop out and he supported me, telling me whenever I was ready to tell her it’d be okay
Keshia
“Although Ian was 27 years older than me, I didn’t care. Our connection was undeniable.”
The pair became a couple, but Keshia grew worried about her mum’s reaction.
Keshia says: “I decided to keep us a secret from my family as I worried they wouldn’t approve of the age gap.
“I didn’t know what would happen, but there was no point upsetting everyone if it didn’t work out anyway.”
The next year, in 2021, Keshia and Ian were stronger than ever, and moved into their own place.
Still terrified of coming clean to her mum, Keshia told her she was going to live alone.
Although my family were left in the dark, Ian eventually told his sons. To our relief, they were really sweet and understanding
Keshia
Keshia says “Whenever mum wanted to visit, I’d have a panic. I’d tell Ian to pop out and he supported me, telling me whenever I was ready to tell her it’d be okay.
“He’d dash out and I’d hide his belongings around the house.
“For years, I was living a double life and it became tough but the longer I left it, the harder it got.
“Although my family were left in the dark, Ian eventually told his sons. To our relief, they were really sweet and understanding.
“His youngest son was five years younger than me but we got on so well. He said he was happy for his dad.
“My friends were lovely about us too, and Ian’s friends joked that he was Mr lucky.
“It made me realise how age was just a number and I knew for a fact that Ian was the love of my life.”
But soon the couple began getting looks and comments from strangers whenever they went out in public.
Keshia says: “Shopkeepers would ask if my dad needed a carrier bag at food tills.
“Once, we were dancing at a nightclub, and a man told me Ian was old enough to be my father. I told him to mind his own business.
A-list age gap relationships that have stood the test of time
- Kris Jenner & Corey Gamble – 25 years
The Kardashian matriarch met her younger man at a mutual friend’s 40th birthday party in Ibiza. They’ve been together since August 2014. - Sam & Aaron Taylor-Johnson – 23 years
The director and actor reportedly met at a film audition in 2009, and were married by 2012. The pair share two daughters and Sam has two children from a previous marriage. - Rosie-Huntington-Whiteley & Jason Statham – 20 years
The model started dating actor Jason in 2010. They were wed in 2016 and have since welcomed a son and a daughter together. - Catherine Zeta-Jones & Michael Douglas – 25 years
The pair was introduced at a film festival in 1996 and engaged three years later. Shortly after their engagement, the couple welcomed a son and married in 2000.
“A few times strangers have called me a gold-digger too.
“It was infuriating but we tried not to let it bother us.”
In 2023, after three years of secrecy, Keshia found the courage to come forward to her family about Ian.
Keshia says: “I told mum that I’d been hiding my boyfriend and we were living together.
“I said he was six years older than her and just like I’d dreaded, mum was upset.
“She worried he was too old for me and what would happen if I wanted children later in life.
“But I explained no-one knows what the future holds and how much I loved him.
“Everyone in the family had a hard time getting their head around it, especially as I’d lied for so long.
“Eventually I took Ian to my family home, and they met face-to-face. It was very frosty, and they weren’t that welcoming.
“But my dad, who lived in Telford, adored Ian. They chatted all day long about cars, construction, and DIY.”
Keshia hopes that her family will one day learn to accept her relationship.
“Now, I’m 31 and Ian’s 58. He’s so mature, and independent, something I could never get from someone my own age,” she says.
“I know someday in the future my family will love Ian just like dad does.
“But after everything we have been through, Ian has been worth it.
“I’d tell anyone considering an older or younger partner to go for it. Life’s too short.”