Does Cyprus enjoy missing out?

Things always take a little longer to get to Cyprus. Traffic signals, for example, are still catching on. Online shopping was slow to arrive – it took the pandemic to coax our supermarkets into the virtual sphere. And avocado on toast, that Millennial mainstay, is still being eschewed for halloumi and watermelon (which is admittedly, far more yummy!).

The point being if it was good enough for granny, it’s good enough for us, right? And when granny spent a great deal of her time at family functions, friends’ festivities, and fun-filled filoxenies, then that’s what we should be doing. Because God forbid we miss out…

“If you weren’t there, it was noticed!” smiles 75-year-old Loukia Evagorou, who grew up in the village of Gourri. “It’s part of our culture to show up, to be present at every gathering, and to maintain those connections. We didn’t have the luxury of texting or calling, so physical presence was everything.

“Even worse, if you didn’t attend the wedding or christening or panayiri you might miss something! So you went, you always went. Not just out of obligation, but also because you might spy a new romance, or catch an argument, or find a new friend!”

This is what we, today, call FOMO – the Fear Of Missing Out. It’s a term coined in the early 2000s, and has since been used extensively on social media. But it’s been around in Cyprus forever! However, what’s taken a little longer to get to the island is its exact opposite: JOMO.

JOMO, or the Joy Of Missing Out, first appeared in 2012, courtesy of tech writer Anil Dash. He penned a blog post (which has since registered hundreds of thousands of views) on this novel concept, suggesting there was great joy to be had in NOT attending events, meeting up, or filling one’s calendar with endless obligations.

Trend-watcher JWT picked up on the term in 2013, calling it a key concept for the coming year. Less than 12 months later, Huffpost branded it a movement. And then Merriam Webster included it as an entry, defining it as the ‘joy experienced when not attending events to which one has been invited.’

The online dictionary gives a usage example, written by American columnist Elizabeth Wellington. “I think of JOMO as freeing up time in my life for the things that really matter to me,” she writes. “And that’s something that can happen to anyone, at any age…”

Granted, JOMO is something that comes to us all eventually. Last-minute cancellations, the ability to turn down invitations, and skipping tedious events can be blissful for anyone over the age of 40 (especially when it’s been a long week and the kids are playing up!). But a decade on, the concept is also beginning to appear amongst Cyprus’ younger residents…

“Social media took off when I was in my teens,” says HR assistant Miranda Savva. “And it changed everything! It opened up a whole world of FOMO, made life so competitive. We’d take the bus all the way from Nicosia to Limassol every weekend just to go to Guaba; spend days planning our outfits, starving ourselves so we’d look good on Facebook.

“Then, around the age of 25, I realised I just didn’t want that sort of life anymore. That I was actually far happier staying home with a book; that my mental health was suffering because of all this perceived pressure; that the Joy Of Missing Out was actually far greater than the fear of not being there.”

Today, aged 30, Miranda is one of a new generation who prioritise staying in over going out.

“I turn down events to stay home and watch Bridgerton. I’ve exchanged real-life drama for Netflix drama, and I’m much happier for it!”

According to a recent study, over 65 per cent of the island meet socially with friends, relatives or colleagues several times a month. And almost 20 per cent of us say we take part in social activities more than most other people our age.

In short, we’re a highly social island – driven perhaps by our close-knit communities, warm Mediterranean climate, and deep-rooted family bonds. Ours is a way of life that encourages outdoor gatherings and frequent celebrations. And woe betide those who are not there…

“When I was little, my parents made me go to every birthday party, every family gathering, every wedding,” sighs 27-year-old Andreas Pantelides. “It was always prepi – you must. No choice.

“But when I moved into my own place, all that changed. I’m a teacher, so nobody knows if I have a parents’ evening or training day or school trip. It gets a bit harder to excuse myself in summer. But I usually say ‘I don’t have the money’ and that stops people from pushing me to do things. Plus it’s true!”

Instead, Andreas and his girlfriend spend time reading, playing online games and walking the dog. “What brings us joy is staying at home or going for a walk by the sea – and there’s no feeling that we’re missing out: this is the life we choose, the life that brings us joy.

“I know lots of people who want to spend all their time rushing from one thing to the next, and that’s fine,” he adds. “But I don’t.”

Andreas’ claims are backed up by 31-year-old Rafaella Eleftheriou. “I suspect there’s a reason JOMO is now catching on in Cyprus: money.

“When you can barely pay the rent, you can’t sit around and stress that you’re not in the best club or the nicest restaurant every weekend. So you learn to enjoy the things you can afford: walking, reading, listening to music.

“I do think FOMO is still around,” she concludes. “It’s just changed from the social sphere to the workplace: today, we worry that we’re missing out on a better job, a more lucrative position. And we’re all so busy trying to make ends meet that, outside work, all we have energy for is ourselves. JOMO is bittersweet, I think!”