After July 4th: You Could Have Been Born Elsewhere

You could have been born in Paris and feeling that walking through its picturesque parks is like crossing Senegal. And hanging love locks on bridges. And having all of Europe look down on you for voting for Le Pen trying to get rid of the hell France has become. And having to share a city with people who find Macron attractive.

You could have been born in Norway and live in the dark, get sick of taking selfies in the fjords, with an expression similar to that of a smoked salmon.

You could have been born in Sao Paolo and run into Lula da Silva on the street and have him steal your wallet. And fall in love with all the women at once, and feel true terror in every slum.

You could have been born in Polynesia, being French without the option of living in Cannes, and not know how the hell to find your island on a world map. (READ MORE from Itxu Diaz: Ignore the New York Times Killjoys. Enjoy Your Wedding.)

You could have been born in China and spend the day eating pangolins and bat wings, dodging coronaviruses, living in prison for expressing your opinion, and writing in strange characters. Worse yet, you could not read The American Spectator without risking a conviction for being a subversive element.

You could have been born in Afghanistan and, if you are a girl, have to wear mourning clothes, exchange fines for lashes, and celebrate holidays with non-alcoholic beverages. Plus, every ten years or so, you’d have to go shopping while dodging bombs.

You could have been born in Mexico City, have a president even dumber than yours, and wake up kidnapped and unaccounted for every time you get carried away with the tequila at night.

You could have been born in Monaco and cross the border every time you go for a jog, and work as a croupier in the casino watching the millions pass before your eyes while being unable to keep even a few coins in your pocket.

You could have been born in Tehran and be dead for almost any reason; or, at best, tortured by the regime of the religion of love.

You could have been born in Bern and pay $7 for a freaking Big Mac, only to find out that Swiss women, while hot, only marry Swiss men, who are boring as hell.

You could have been born in Amsterdam and be offered euthanasia every time you have a cold. And, if you manage to escape suicide, live without knowing anything about what is going on around you because you are stoned all the time just to not draw attention to yourself.

You could have been born in London and seen how the Conservatives are incapable of conserving anything, not even their voters; and, what’s more, live depressed surrounded by rain and fog.

You could have been born in Germany and hear everyone speaking a language that sounds like an angry lion, and have cars stop you every few miles for lack of Ad Blue anti-pollution, and have normal people ask you why you don’t want to vote for someone as wonderful as Merkel (remember her wonderful “Welcome, refugees!”), or whatever the hell her successor’s name is.

You could have been born in India, and … oh, no, probably not. I don’t see you in white robes chanting Ali Express guru chants, and reeking of curry.

You could have been born in Spain and, frankly, you would be happy, but you would also have to put up with a government full of communists and incompetent ministers, who fight tooth and nail against your freedom, and whose biggest sexual fantasy is to raise your taxes. (READ MORE: The Confused Generation)

But, dear friend, I was thinking this past 4th of July, Providence is on your side, you had the good fortune to be born in the United States, in the heart of the free world, and perhaps it is time to thank God for that. Only a great nation can survive someone like Joe Biden. Hope you had a happy 4th of July!

The post After July 4th: You Could Have Been Born Elsewhere appeared first on The American Spectator | USA News and Politics.