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Westeros Twins Ranked by Real Twins the Lucas Brothers

Maybe George R.R. Martin secretly wants to be a twin?

Photo-Illustration: Vulture; Photos: HBO

We are identical twins who love the Game of Thrones saga. Incidentally, quite a few sets of twin characters can be found in GoT and its prequel series, House of the Dragon. Twins make up roughly 3 percent of the world’s population, but in Westeros, every house seems to have multiple sets (there’s a whole big category for them in the fandom Wiki). Maybe George R.R. Martin secretly wants to be a twin? Totally understandable — he could get twice the amount of work done, finally finishing A Song of Ice and Fire. Which brings us to the matter at hand: ranking all the twins of Westeros. Somebody had to do it, and as experts on all things twins-related, we can offer a unique dual perspective and unparalleled insight into the complex dynamics of such siblings. In essence, all those fistfights in our childhood over who’s the older twin are now coming in handy — a birth-order distinction that would have actually mattered if we were, say, in line to inherit Casterly Rock.

Photo: Troy Harvey/A.M.P.A.S./Getty Images

In determining our ranking, we considered the significance and impact of each set of twins in the context of the greater events in their respective series. Specifically, we’re looking at each pair’s proximity to the battle for power in the Seven Kingdoms — what role, if any, have they played in their respective houses’ quest for the Iron Throne? (Note: For our purposes, we’re looking only at the TV shows, not the novels.) Moreover, we’ve also factored in the twins’ identicalness, or state of being identical. We think it was Hegel who said, “In identical twins, we witness the dialectical struggle of individuality against unity. They are at once the same and distinct, a living paradox that embodies the very essence of the Absolute Spirit’s journey toward self-realization.” We made that up, but it sounds like some shit he’d say. So without further ado, here are the results of our thorough analysis:

Baela and Rhaena Targaryen

Photo: HBO

As much as it pains us, we have to rank these two last. They just haven’t done much in the series up to this point. They continually pop up next to characters who actually do move the plot forward (like their cousin and stepmom, Queen Rhaenyra), but we’d like to learn more about their own ambitions and desires. It would be nice to see them do something duplicitous and vile; if that were to happen, they might move up in our ranking. They aren’t identical and aren’t even played by twins, which is a cardinal sin in our book. Twins should be played by twins. That said, we don’t count fraternal twins as real twins. They’re just two singletons born on the same day. Singleton is a slur we use for single-birth individuals. We were going to go with onesie, but that felt too cute.

All this is probably moot anyway — while they’re twins in Fire & Blood, it seems Baela may actually be older (not just minutes older) in the TV series. Twin erasure.

Jason and Tyland Lannister

Photo: HBO

What’s worse than two non-twin actors playing fraternal twins? One non-twin actor playing identical twins. It feels like twinface. You can’t be a Lannister, be somewhat irrelevant to the story, and be disrespectful to twins all at once. It’s unfortunate that twins don’t have a group fighting on behalf of all twins in the media like the TWINAACP — the Twin Association for the Advancement of Cloned People. (Puns are making a comeback, it seems — see OV-HO.)

Jaehaerys and Jaehaera Targaryen

Photo: HBO

Though not played by actual twins, at least these characters are quite relevant to House of the Dragon thus far. Not only are they the toddler children of Aegon II Targaryen and his sister-wife, Helaena Targaryen, but one of them was beheaded, which is such a brutal way to die. Very grateful the show spared us a visualization of the beheading. Thanks, George. Ultimately, Jaehaerys’s death pushes Aegon II to fully commit to war with his half-sister, Rhaenyra Targaryen. Jaehaerys’s death also ensures the Targaryen twins will never grow up to commit incest — something the Targaryens have perfected over time.

Cersei and Jaime Lannister

Photo: HBO

Speaking of incest, where would we be without Cersei and Jaime? If it weren’t for Bran discovering them having sex in the very first episode of GoT, the events in the original series couldn’t have happened. Are we thrilled by the stereotype of twins committing incest being pushed to a mass audience? Of course not. But we can’t deny how pivotal these two are to the story with each of them being fully a realized character. Plus, Lena Headey does such a remarkable job playing Cersei. She alone deserves this high ranking. We don’t think we’ve ever hated and loved a character more than we have Cersei. She was masterful — and ruthless — at playing the game. The scene where she blows up the Great Sept with wildfire while sipping wine is Godfather-esque. But it’s a pity these two weren’t played by actual fraternal twins. Otherwise, they would have finished at No. 1. The incest doesn’t help their ranking either.

The Twins

Photo: HBO

Home of the despicable House Frey, the Twins is also the location of the infamous Red Wedding. While we hated the Freys, we must admit the Red Wedding is one of the greatest scenes in television history. The Twins’ towers are also the most identical entity on our list. Well, aside from …

Arryk and Erryk Cargyll

Photo: HBO

This brings us to our top twins: the Cargyll brothers. Since they are played by identical twins (Luke and Elliott Tittensor), they immediately claim the No. 1 position. The showrunners could have cast a single non-twin actor for both roles, but we suspect they opted for actual twins once they realized how much more expensive and complicated their epic fight scene would be otherwise. But beyond their casting, the Cargylls play a key role in House of the Dragon, in which Arryk sides with King Aegon II Targaryen, while his twin, Erryk, sides with Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen. Their story epitomizes the brutal nature of civil wars in which brothers turn against each other even if it means defending the incestuous members of one particular house. Unlike the typical portrayal of twins as strange (which we admittedly are at times), the Cargylls are depicted as badass knights of the Kingsguard. Their battle in “Rhaenyra the Cruel” is iconic, marking perhaps the first time we have genuinely been confused about who’s who in a “good twin, evil twin” fight scene. We will miss the Cargyll twins, but we appreciate what they’ve done for identical-twin representation in the media. They are our Jackie Robinson, shattering the double glass ceiling for all twins.

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