Retired colonel honored in Albany Bar after revealing lifelong secret in obituary

ALBANY, N.Y. (NEWS10) - A fundraiser honoring the life and memory of veteran Col. Edward Thomas Ryan took place Sunday. Last month, the U.S. Army veteran died at the age of 85. In his obituary, the retired colonel revealed a secret that he'd kept hidden for decades, that he was gay.

The celebration brought Ryan's family, friends, and those inspired by his story together at Rocks, a bar on Central Avenue. Ryan's great nephew, Donald Day, said this fundraiser gave him a chance to honor and remember who Ryan truly was.

"Oh, we loved him," Day said. "He was awesome. He knows it I think, I think he knows it. I always looked up to him and admired him. He was a hard-core dude. He served in Vietnam , he's a "full-bird colonel. You have to respect everything he did."

Ryan served in Vietnam, where, at the time being gay in the military was grounds for dishonorable discharge and a forfeiture of the right to receive most veterans' benefits. It wasn't until 1994, the same year that Ryan's longtime partner Paul Cavagnaro died, that the U.S. adopted "Don't ask, don't tell." In 2011, that policy was repealed, prohibiting discrimination against anyone for their sexual orientation in the armed forces.

Linda Sargent, Ryan's niece, said she wishes Ryan could be here today.

"I just wish that he could enjoy what I see today being here, bartender, giving his partner a hug and kiss and stuff," Sargent said. "Breaks my heart because my uncle didn't have that chance, you know, to be who he was; you know he had to hide."

A local charity, Veterans Miracle Center, which helps assist local vets, their families, and helps hold preserves the memories of fallen LGBTQ+ members and first responders, sponsored the event. The event organizer, Jim Larson, created the celebration to honor Ryan after he was touched by Ryan's story.

"To read someone come out in their obituary is very sort of powerful because the coming out story for everyone is a sort of powerful, passionate thing, and for someone who served this community and his country to not feel comfortable enough to come out during his life," Larson said.

Ryan's family found out about the gathering on Facebook, along with several others in attendance who were moved by Ryan's story. Ryan's family said he was a private person and that he would be taken aback by the response his story has gotten, not only locally but worldwide.

"I think he would be overwhelmed, I don't know that his intention of putting his last rights in his obituary, that it was ever to come this far," Day said. "I think it more was a closure for him, not for everyone else to get something out of it and I would assume he is extremely happy about it."