My wife spends all my hard earned money and I’m left with nothing

DEAR DEIDRE: My wife bought a designer handbag last week with almost all of my wages.

I’m now going to have to use my credit card to get to work and do the shopping.

I’m a man of 39 and we have two boys who are 10 and 12. My wife is a stay-at-home mum and she’s a great mum but she says that we married “for richer, for poorer” and she takes those vows to the extreme.

I work full-time as a builder and I do coaching at the weekend for the local football club but my wife insists that I transfer all my earnings to her.

She pays the bills with it but she knows how to spend too and it leaves me with nothing.

My colleagues have a catch-up over breakfast on Friday mornings but I can only go once a month now – on payday – and before she gets her hands on my money. She’s 37 and high maintenance.

DEIDRE SAYS: She’s looking after the finances but this feels like financial abuse as you have no say in how the money is being spent.

Find a moment to talk to her about how best to sort out the family finances, ensuring that the bills are paid for first.

Any surplus money is divided up fairly so you can both enjoy it.
Impress upon her that any big spend by either of you has to be discussed – you’re a team after all.

You can find emotional support through the charity Surviving Economic Abuse (survivingeconomicabuse.org/, 0808 1968845) which gives strategies to help.