Late Night Finally Tackles President Biden’s Debate Disaster
Would you believe two separate hosts made a “Hawk Tuah” reference?
Following June 27’s presidential debate, Jon Stewart hosted a live episode of The Daily Show, reacting in real time to President Biden’s incompetent debate performance and its implications for American democracy. His take, at times, amounted to a guttural yell. Stewart’s cathartic release, however, was the only late-night commentary about the debate the public got at the time, as The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, Late Night With Seth Meyers, The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, and Jimmy Kimmel Live! all happened to be on hiatus the following week. (The Daily Show also took the week off following its live post-debate bonanza.) Thus, when late night’s various hosts finally got back into their chairs on July 8, they had a lot to catch up on. They wasted no time getting right into it.
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
On The Tonight Show, Fallon compared Biden’s debate tactics to malfunctioning Fourth of July fireworks. “If I had to describe President Biden’s performance in fireworks terms, he was either the one that doesn’t ignite, or the one where the bottle tips over and blows up your house,” he said. Regarding Biden’s insistence on staying in the race despite widespread calls for him to step aside, he joked that Biden is “basically the guy doing 30 in the left lane and he ain’t moving for anybody” and that Democrats’ only recourse now is to “tie a bunch of balloons to the White House and hope he floats away like the old guy from Up.” In a characteristically Fallon move, he also took the opportunity to fold in another viral reference: “The media is crazy right now. The only two people they’re covering 24/7 are Joe Biden and the Hawk Tuah girl.”
He followed this up with a sketch where he played Biden receiving an advisory phone call from President Barack Obama and falling asleep during the conversation. In character as Biden, he also pleads his case for why he remains the best candidate to defeat Trump: “I’m the only one that can unite the country. In fact, I already have. For the first time ever, the left and the right — MSNBC and Fox News, Kendrick and Drake — they’ve all come together with one voice and said, ‘You should probably drop out.’”
Late Night With Seth Meyers
Elsewhere in 30 Rockefeller Plaza, Meyers feared that he’d returned to the “wrong timeline” post-vacation. But Meyers didn’t solely focus on Biden during his signature “Closer Look” segment about the last two weeks in politics; he also hit on Donald Trump’s disastrous Project 2025 policy proposals (and his untruthful attempts to distance himself from them), as well as highly publicized allegations that Robert F. Kennedy Jr. once ate a dog. He establishes this context to emphasize “the stakes of this election” and how important it is to have “a Democratic candidate who could competently articulate those stakes.” Of Biden’s agape facial expressions during the debate, he joked, “Nothing projects strength like having your mouth a little bit open while you stare at a ghost only you can see.”
His strongest jokes were sparked by the Biden campaign’s attempts to reassure voters and Democratic Party politicians in the debate’s aftermath, among them announcing that Biden will adopt an earlier bedtime, as well as Biden’s appearance on ABC’s This Week With George Stephanopoulos, during which he said he won’t feel bad if he loses to Trump as long as knows he “gave it his all.” Meyers mocks the sentiment: “No! That’s not what this is about. Giving it ‘your all’ is what salsa lessons at a retirement home is all about. This isn’t about how you feel. This is about how voters feel. If you truly believe American democracy is at stake, and it is, then you have to act like it. You can’t claim to be the last bulwark against fascism and also have a ‘more sleep’ plan.”
The Late Show With Stephen Colbert
Colbert began his monologue on The Late Show Monday night by joking about how hard it tends to be to return to work from an extended vacation. “You’ve got to shave off the beard, shake off the rust, squeeze back into the suit, and talk about Joe Biden’s debate performance,” he said, sipping an apparent glass of whiskey with shaky hands. And while Colbert stressed he believes Biden has been a good president, he criticized the incumbent’s debate performance by saying, “I think Biden debated as well as Abraham Lincoln if you dug him up right now.”
Like Fallon, Colbert took the opportunity to make a glancing reference to the internet’s current favorite viral phenomenon, remarking that the Biden campaign’s attempts to connect more on social media post-debate will lead to a “New Middle East peace proposal: ‘You Gotta Give It That Hawk Tuah, Spit on That Thang.’” Then, like Meyers, he reserved his best jokes for the Biden campaign’s attempts at post-debate spin, particularly its proposal to stop scheduling events after 8 p.m. “I guess you could say he’s ‘Sleepy Joe,’ Colbert said, looking directly into camera and mouthing an apology. “Which 8 p.m., sir? East Coast? West Coast? Moscow? The world does not stop at 8 p.m. Is Kamala Harris going to have to clock in as night president?” Ultimately, he referred to the debate about whether Biden should step aside as a battle between the virtues of “perseverance” and “self-sacrifice,” and made one final reference to a Biden gaffe: “It is possible handing leadership to a younger generation is the right thing to do for the greater goodest.”
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Filling in for Kimmel this week while he’s out on his annual summer vacation is actress Kathryn Hahn. “I’m going to be filling in for the next three nights,” she began at the top of her monologue. “And while some of you may want me to step aside for the good of the country, I’m not going anywhere!” Aside from this, Hahn kept her Biden commentary comparatively short and sweet, poking fun at a few of the president’s peculiar debate and post-debate declarations, among them that he will beat Trump “again in 2020,” and that the only way he’ll drop out of the election is “if the Lord Almighty came out and said, ‘Joe, get out of the race.’” After reminding the audience that both candidates are old and that “this might be the first presidential race where a slick bathtub could alter the course of history,” Hahn goes on to say she would “vote for a skeleton over Donald Trump,” which is lucky for her, because she “may literally be voting for a skeleton over Donald Trump.”
The Daily Show
Meanwhile, Stewart has not cooled off. In fact, the Biden campaign’s attempts to assuage concerns about the president’s competence in the 12 days since the debate have only riled him up further. He points to the quick turnaround of England and France’s recent elections as evidence that the Democratic Party could hold a successful political process in the time between now and the election to give other politicians a chance to challenge Biden and “stress test” his candidacy. “‘Get on board or shut the fuck up’ is not a particularly compelling pro-democracy bumper sticker,” he said. He also didn’t like that Biden said he’d be content to lose knowing he “gave it his all.” “There are no participation trophies in endgame democracy,” he mocks. “Oh, yes, I remember FDR saying, ‘If the Nazis take over Europe, at least both teams had fun.’”
The Daily Show news team then took Biden’s verbal commitment that he’d drop out of the race if the “Lord Almighty” instructed it into their own hands by cosplaying various gods pleading for Biden to drop out of the race. Correspondent Ronny Chieng, playing a svelte “Ozempic Buddha,” makes a particularly compelling case for the merits of their multipronged divine intervention: “If Biden needs a message from the Almighty, one of these gods has got to break through.”
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