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The Real Housewives of Dubai Recap: With Friends Like These

The ladies and their families show the harsh realities of such a glamorous lifestyle.

Photo: Bravo

The Eileen Davidson accords are officially up at just the right time, since we are midway through the season and Taleen has seamlessly integrated herself into the cast. So far, she is a great addition to the ensemble: She is willing to play in the mud, get her family involved in the conversation, and admit to the absurdities of a plush life in Dubai without a hint of shame or irony. She’s not afraid to show off her husband, who goes to work and golf more than he sees her, or her baffling willingness to let her young daughter skip school over a mild tantrum. She’s a paint-by-numbers delusional housewife, but she plays a dangerous game. It seems obvious that she and Caroline Brooks came into the season with a game plan (as most foolishly think they can do), and she has decided to diverge from that. In some ways, it is smart, showing her willingness to stand independently and open herself up to other relationships. On the other hand, it gives no one a reason to trust her. She abandoned her main lifeline on the show at the first convenient option to mingle with a crowd she preferred, and should she be in the middle of another conflict, she will quickly find that she has no true allies after discarding her first friend in Dubai.

Take the continuation of the fight in the desert: Taleen doesn’t let up on her longtime friend and forces Brooks to admit that she had given her own creative interpretation of her conversations with Stanbury. Putting the silly game of telephone out at the table is smart — it doesn’t allow competing narratives to continue — but it also serves as Taleen publicly embarrassing Brooks in front of colleagues with whom she has open tension. Brooks is far from innocent in this debacle. Still, as she begins to shut down, it is clear she has not prepared for this level of combativeness from her friend. Taleen demands “accountability” and consideration. It’s a bold play and could easily backfire on Taleen later in the season, but for now, Taleen has the upper hand and doesn’t seem worried that she may be playing her cards too early. In any case, I prefer someone who is willing to take a risk and flop on their face than whatever Saba is currently doing as a newbie. Beautiful woman, but there are statues with more screen presence.

For now, Taleen can use her current friction with Brooks to build a bridge with Stanbury, who, by her own admission, was not interested in forging a bond with her until Brooks made a point to place a wedge between the duo. So far, they seem to be getting along smashingly. However, I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that it is beyond comprehension to me to drunkenly crash in anyone’s marital bed, even as a joke, the way that Stanbury flopped on top of Taleen’s husband at 5 a.m. Also, Taleen’s husband calling Stanbury ”Margot Robbie” is enough of a red flag to steer clear of those interactions. That said, the developing friendship would be fine in and of itself, but this kinship forged in mutual distaste is bound to crumble the second one of them inevitably mends fences with Brooks. I am willing to bet that Taleen will be the odd man out in that situation.

Brooks may have felt blindsided by the confrontation, but she cannot take a setup lying down. She quickly pivots, first by soliciting Sara to mediate the process, then by bringing up Lesa’s issues to switch the focus off of her entirely. Brooks and Sara’s alliance riles up Stanbury, who finds their newfound friendship forged in “spiritual healing” as inauthentic as some of Ayan’s synthetic wigs. I understand not buying the connection, but Stanbury’s irritation seems a bit overblown for the incident. As Lesa aptly points out, Sara is simply doing what she always does: speaking in Instagram captions. Stanbury was fine when Sara used caption-speak to defend Stanbury’s marriage. Now that Brooks is receiving that same level of cartoonish support, the British Housewife can barely stand it, demanding that Sara shut up and “talk as a person.”

If I were to extend grace to Stanbury, I would point out that she retains a lot of stress in her personal life. Her relationship and marriage with Sergio were sired in the pressure cooker of the COVID-19 pandemic when people formed quarantine bubbles quickly and intensely. Stanbury wasn’t about to make it through the pandemic without some horizontal fun time, which I understand, but to move a new, younger man in just a week after your ex-husband moved out is quite an intense lifestyle shift for a mother of three. She committed the cardinal sin of bringing the young rebound around the kids, and now she’s stuck with an unemployed, submissive puppy of a husband with no friends or hobbies outside of doting over her all day and praying over her uterus. There’s a reason why the most romantic and sexy parts of Stella Got Her Groove Back happens while she’s on vacation — the fantasy disappears when you come back home! Ask Terry McMillan what happened to her marriage in real life.

Everyone recognizes how fraught the situation is except Sergio. His mother, who is Caroline’s age-mate, stresses to him how a baby is likely never going to happen with where Caroline is in life, and he damn near sticks his fingers in his ears. His family and wife are telling him he needs friends — or even, perhaps, a job — to occupy his time so he is not consumed with doting over his wife’s comings and goings, but he isn’t receptive to practical advice. There’s also his tense relationship with his stepchildren, which is an issue that I don’t believe will be resolved anytime soon.

Yasmine, Stanbury’s eldest, is suffering from textbook eldest-daughter syndrome with a splash of teen brattiness. She is frustrated at the fantasy her mother has constructed. Stanbury would have us believe that she is a present and active parent, the integration of families has been seamless, and she makes Yasmine a priority, but Yasmine’s reality is that nannies primarily raised her, her parent’s divorce has been a hellish roller coaster for her, and Stanbury couldn’t even make it to Yasmine’s college tour.

Yasmine is struggling with the reality that her mother’s selfishness comes at her expense. While I think Yasmine has remarkable insight, she is still a teenager, and so she lashes out in predictable ways, such as picking fights with the new man in the house. Any child would be frustrated in that situation. While Yasmine may handle her resentments immaturely at times, it is the responsibility of the adult in the room — namely Sergio, who is foaming at the mouth to become a parent — to have the emotional intelligence to recognize the issue for what it is and handle the tension with grace while still reinforcing boundaries. Instead, they repeatedly snipe back and forth, as they did at the moving-out party, leaving Caroline to intervene and inevitably look like she’s picking sides. It’s a lose-lose-lose, and continues to shed a poor forecast for the future of this marriage. As Yasmine pointed out, it takes two to have an argument, and ultimately, all she is looking for is to feel heard and acknowledged.

The children of this show offer an insightful lens into the harsh realities of negotiating this glamorous lifestyle. Brooks is currently working night and day in her salon and boutique to provide her son with a lifestyle that doesn’t make him feel inferior to any of his peers. She’s competing with kids whose families buy them luxury cars before they can walk long distances. The birthday party she finally puts together is beautiful, but it is hard-earned — her abusive ex-husband, whose relationship is serviceable and cordial at this point, gives her no financial support in parenting (outside of the salon) in exchange for allowing her to have custody. It is a noble endeavor, but it is not one that a young preteen can truly recognize for what it is — in his view, his mom is just never around. Brooks is struggling to accommodate this transition — growing up in a big household with fewer means, you get the distinct sense that she was raised to appreciate whatever was available. She has chosen to raise her son in a different milieu, and the work it takes to provide the various accoutrements he receives doesn’t translate, as the results are the baseline standard of benefits that he sees his peers getting. That said, the party she pulls together is lovely, and Adam seemed to truly enjoy himself.

Lesa is trapped in a paradox of her own as well. Although she has a partner who provides for the family, she fears that her fantasy life could disappear at any minute. Given the way her dad abandoned her and her mother, it is an understandable trauma response, but it has her burning the candle at both ends and miserable. It is why Brooks’s pivot in the desert worked so well: She honed in on Lesa’s sensitivity that her lifestyle and marriage will never be as secure in her eyes. It was a smart deflection from Brooks at that point because it took the heat off her behavior and pushed Sara’s discreet machinations into the spotlight. No matter how much she protests, Sara was certainly fishing for gossip and mess when she cornered Ayan over iftar to inquire about the state of Lesa’s home life; she simply didn’t expect Ayan to be such a loyal friend as to run to Lesa and repeat the concern immediately. Caught with her hand in the cookie jar, she feebly tried to explain it away with faux spiritual double-talk, but not even she is buying her excuse. Ultimately, the person who gives Lesa the best advice, albeit jokingly, is Ayan, who tells her she needs a mental break.

It is no secret that I have a soft spot for Ayan, but it is truly a testament to Ayan’s spirit that she offers drama and lightheartedness so openly and freely. Her cheery tone is one I recognize so well, one that is used to mask the horrors of what she has endured to live out loud the way she does now. As a fellow East African woman with family in the Swahili coast, it was so comforting to see her share space with her sister and chatter in Swahili about their life, dreams, and plans to get together as a family as she celebrates the launch of her beauty company. Ayan might be the least wealthy of the cast, but she has built the richest life for herself by simply choosing to live for herself after years of being made to feel worthless and expendable, and it shows in how she shows up for herself and others. The fact that she continues to be open about her past — the poverty, the tolls of being a women suffering under regressive politics, healing from the trauma of FGM and how that forged an eternal bond with her sister — is why she continues to be a light in the cast, even when she is not in the midst of all the drama. Unfortunately, we know the ultimate downfall between Ayan and Lesa is coming just past the horizon. I truly hope it is something that they can both move past after the fog of reality-TV drama clears.

Golden Nuggets

• Stanbury’s red confessional look is her best one yet. Her team ate down in the classic glamour styling. Love to see it!

• Sara earnestly saying “I’ve had my hand up her heart, not up her ass” in response to Stanbury criticizing her defense of Brooks made me choke on my bubble tea. I can’t tell if she’s playing her persona up for absurdity or not at this point, but I can’t get enough.

• I am happy to be wrong, but Sara’s situation with Akin is starting to feel like a scheme Todd set up. I am very familiar with Islamic dating practices, and everything about how this courtship with this young man is going is nonsensical outside of the “Muslim girl rules 101” segments that Sara can now feed to the public (which I don’t hate; people should know that we say alhamdulillah after we sneeze!). I don’t see what the ultimate upside is quite yet, but this just isn’t resonating as real to me for now. If Sara was really trying to date like a Muslimah, she would just quietly date him for two years and pop up married, not publicly parade him around as a “friend” who hangs out with her son. We shall see!

• I’m rooting for my young king Maki to accomplish his twerking dream. I don’t know what a twerking world record could possibly consist of, but I believe in him!

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