'Stop wasting time with dribble': Bush speechwriter's advice for Trump torn to shreds

A speechwriter for former President George W. Bush was subjected to ridicule Thursday when he suggested the key to secure a 2024 election victory for the presumptive Republican nominee was Donald Trump making fun of his own hair.

Marc Thiessen delivered this advice in a Washington Post editorial Thursday dedicated to helping Trump win over undecided and moderate voters. He also included a possible stump speech.

"If you didn’t like the way I talked, or walked, or combed my hair, I hope you liked the fact that our border was secure, our cities were safe, our economy was strong and the world was at peace," Thiessen would have Trump say. "So, yes, I have a few flaws. As president, if I fought a little dirty at times, I always fought for you."

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Each of the claims Thiessen would have Trump make have been subjected to fact checks that found flaws and misstatements.

The claim that the border was "secure" under Trump did not stand up to the New York Times report that his promised wall never materialized, most of the barriers he built were replacements, and there was a migration surge in 2019.

A Tampa Bay Times fact check in June found violent crime is near a 50-year low and Nobel-prize winning economists warn Trump's plans would detonate a "inflation bomb" that could rock the global economy economy.

Finally, Trump's claims that he "made peace" in the Middle East is linked to the Abraham Accords, which experts say inflamed tensions between Israel and Palestine, who are now at war.

As for "playing dirty" — a New York City jury agreed, finding Trump guilty of falsifying business records to cover hush money paid to adult film star Stormy Daniels ahead of the 2016 presidential election.

Thiessen, who famously advocated for waterboarding and force-feeding terrorism suspects as tactics he argued do not constitute torture, now wants Trump to do what Bush did and show moderate voters his softer side.

"He could go with something like this: 'I know I rub some the wrong way. Occasionally, I’m a little rough on people — in New York we call that ‘a Bronx cheer.’ Sometimes, I may exaggerate a tiny a bit — in New York we call that ‘negotiating,'" Thiessen writes. "That would send swing voters a message: He gets it."

This take spurred Washington Post readers to say in the comment section of Thiessen: He does not get it.

"Go ahead Marc," replied Ken Antonelli. "Tell us how you get a CONVICTED FELON and a person convicted of assaulting a woman more votes…We’re all ears…And ears are a part of the skull where the brain resides.. we have both and your orange faced dictator has neither."

"I'm Independent and think for myself," Laurance Glasser added. "There I think Marc, you should stop wasting peoples time with your dribble."

Ace King quipped, "Trump could say: 'I promise to stop lying, which would eliminate about 90% of what I say and I'd blame that on the Democrats and Hilary and Jewish space lasers for creating all that election fraud stuff, mmmmm.'"