Coffee company owner begins new career as Special Forces soldier
The transition from barista to elite soldier has not been without its hiccups.
FAYETTEVILLE, N.C. — Jason ‘Jacked Java’ Johnson, the entrepreneur behind the local coffee shop "Do You Caffeinate Bro?", has traded his espresso machine for an M4 carbine in hopes of joining the elite ranks of the United States Army’s Special Forces. The transition marks the latest in a long series of failed ventures for Johnson, who until recently was best known for his ability to crash and burn in almost any career he touched.
“I just never found my calling,” Johnson admitted, wiping down the counter of his now-closed coffee shop. “I guess you could say I was the jackass of all trades and the master of none. Except for making terrible lattes.”
Johnson, 32, who still lives at home with his mother, is no stranger to career pivots. Before donning the camouflage, he dabbled unsuccessfully in a variety of endeavors, including a failed gym, a short-lived liquor distillery, an ill-fated podcast, competitive air-drumming, and an unsuccessful run for Congress. One might say he’s the Swiss Army knife of ineptitude.
Johnson’s coffee shop was his last hurrah before enlisting, which became a local legend, not for its brews, but for its bizarre ambiance. The walls were adorned with motivational posters of Evan Hafer, CEO of Black Rifle Coffee Company, and Eric Johnson, CEO of Trident Coffee.
“I idolize those guys,” Johnson said. “They turned coffee into a mission. I tried to do the same, but I guess not everyone wants to start their day with a shot of inspiration and a side of failure.”
His transition to the military was inspired by his love for paintball and amateur mixed martial arts, although without much skill.
“I figured if I could dodge a paintball, maybe I could dodge a bullet,” said Johnson, revealing the tactical genius that’s now part of America’s elite forces.
After a brief stint in basic training, Johnson applied for the Special Forces Assessment and Selection. To the surprise of many who knew him, he passed and was subsequently assigned to the 3rd Special Forces Group.
“We’ve never seen a transition quite like Jason’s,” commented Command Sgt. Maj. Lionel Strong, the senior enlisted advisor at the Special Warfare Center and School (SWCS). “He’s become an elite operator, although he’s still a bit of a tool.”
Johnson’s new comrades in 3rd SFG were initially skeptical.
“When you hear someone’s past that involves competitive air-drumming and failed podcasting, you don’t exactly expect them to be the next great operator,” said an anonymous teammate. “Jason’s got heart but his coffee is horrible.”
The transition from barista to elite soldier has not been without its hiccups. During one mission, Johnson reportedly tried to brew a makeshift espresso in the field, resulting in a humorous reprimand from his superiors. “He kept talking about ‘De espresso liber,’” said another soldier. “I think he was trying to make a point about freedom and coffee, but it just made a mess.”
Despite his unconventional background, Johnson has found a sense of belonging in the military that eluded him in civilian life.
“In the coffee shop, I was always trying to blend in,” he said. “Here, I’ve finally found a place where I fit in.’”
As Johnson continues his journey in special forces, he remains committed to his caffeinated roots. “One day, I’m going to open a coffee shop for operators,” he said. “But this time, I’ll make sure the coffee doesn’t suck.”
Johnson’s journey has been nothing short of extraordinary. From brewing disastrous cups of coffee to executing precision missions with America’s most elite soldiers, he’s a testament to the idea that sometimes the most unorthodox paths lead to the most rewarding destinations. In his own words, “Who knew all those hours of air-drumming would pay off in trigger discipline?”
His comrades have grown to appreciate his quirky background, often gathering around for his stories of failed businesses and misadventures.
“We might be the best of the best,” said one teammate, “but nobody tells a story about getting a liquor distillery license revoked like Jason.”
