Dave Portnoy Rescued by Coast Guard After His Boat Went Adrift at Sea
"You boys almost lost Captain Dave today..."
It sounds like Barstool Sports founder Dave Portnoy is Team Dry Land for the foreseeable future after a harrowing incident over the weekend. But thankfully, members of the U.S. Coast Guard came to the rescue when Portnoy's 28-foot boat lost power off the coast of Nantucket and began to drift out to sea.
The 47-year-old recalled how he quite nearly became a castaway on Gilligan's Island in a two-minute-long video posted to social media on Monday, in which he inexplicably referred to himself in first person as "Captain Dave" throughout.
"You boys almost lost Captain Dave today," Portnoy said near the beginning of the clip. "Captain Dave was almost lost to the ocean, mother ocean."
As he explained, he had taken his mom out for a sail, who had asked him to see his boat. But after he unhooked from the buoys and turned the engine on, he realized that the vessel was dead. And at that point, the boat had already begun to drift from the dock.
“No power, no radio, no anchor, no nothing," he continued. "Heavy, heavy winds. Next thing you know, Captain Dave is lost at sea."
We almost lost Captain Dave to mother ocean today. Thank you to the #uscoastguard for saving Captain Dave's life. pic.twitter.com/hF5gYbmkSY
— Dave Portnoy (@stoolpresidente) July 15, 2024
Portnoy managed to avoid ramming into other ships in the harbor, but as the boat began to drift out to the channel, he attempted to signal with a flare gun. "Captain Dave shoots his f--king gun into the sky as a distress signal, still nothing."
Finally, he got a stroke of luck when a woman passed by in a rowboat, and boarded when she saw that he was in distress. "I'm screaming, 'Help! Captain Dave needs help!'" Portnoy recalled. "She boards Captain Dave’s vessel. She said, ‘Can I make a TikTok of you? I said, ‘No time for TikToks.'"
Thankfully, the woman's radio worked so she was able to put a call through to the Coast Guard.
"Captain Dave had to be halfway to the f--king the Caribbean, just rocking, no power no boat," Portnoy told the camera. "Thankfully, Coast Guard tied me up, bring me back, Captain Dave lives to tell another tale."
"Third time as captain, already lost at sea. It’s a dangerous game, the sea’s angry, my friends," he added. "Captain Dave may never go on the boat again."
As an addendum to the happy ending, the U.S. Coastguard Northeast posted a message to Portnoy in the aftermath if the ordeal. "You’re welcome, Dave. Tell Miss Peaches we said hi and remember to boat safe!" the agency wrote, referring to his six-year-old rescue dog.
You’re welcome, Dave. Tell Miss Peaches we said hi and remember to boat safe! #SemperParatus https://t.co/x4nqvSWyYW
— USCGNortheast (@USCGNortheast) July 15, 2024
In remains to be seen whether or not Portnoy's seafaring days are truly over, but at the very least, hopefully he's learned his lesson to test the power first before untying his boat.