Johnny Depp Has a Girlfriend Now

Well, it's safe to say that Johnny Depp's one wild and "ruined life" has made a recovery if not undergone a complete and total renovation, so much so that if the year were 2005, Ty Pennington would be yelling "Move that bus" to reveal a man who looks...like a raggedy reiki practitioner in upstate New York. Grotesque appearance aside, he's managed to nab at least four different pay streams and—because it was really only a matter of time—a brand new girlfriend. On Monday, the Daily Mail reported that the 61-year-old actor, artist, director, musician, model, and—I cannot stress this enough—by U.K. standards, a "wife beater," has been "casually" dating a 28-year-old Russian beautician and model, Yulia Vlasova. The relationship, according to sources "close to Depp," isn't new. Apparently, Depp and Vlasova met in 2021—before the defamation trial from hell—and have been "hanging out" ever since.   View this post on Instagram   A post shared by Iuliia V (@im__iuliia) How does one "hang out" with Johnny Depp these days? First, you purchase a hazmat suit. Second, you undergo a lobotomy. Just kidding. Last week, the pair were photographed traveling together. Earlier this year, she posted a photo that shows Depp's hand on her knee on her Instagram story during a Q&A with her followers. When asked who her favorite actor was, she replied: "JD. He is a man who is incredibly talented and inspiring." As if that weren't gag-inducing enough, when Depp was accompanying his late friend, Jeff Beck, on tour across Europe in 2022, Vlasova made appearances at a few gigs per more photos posted to social media that see Depp kissing her cheek. So, who is this person? Well, not much is known apart from the fact that she's a mere three years older than Depp's daughter, Lily-Rose, and that she owns a hair and makeup studio in Prague where sources claim she reportedly first met him at the 55th Karlovy Vary International Film Festival. It doesn't appear likely we'll learn much more. When Vlasova's mother, Galina, was contacted by a Russian tabloid, she responded: "It's better to talk to our daughter about this. I don't know anything, all the questions are for her."   View this post on Instagram   A post shared by Iuliia V (@im__iuliia) Meanwhile, Depp continues to be mobbed by fans anytime he's spotted out, and very notably not promote his latest film, Johnny Puff: Secret Mission, where he voices a gibberish-speaking Puffin. It's certainly no gibberish-speaking pirate but the man's more employed than most people—accused of abuse or not—at the moment. And the fact that he's found someone who finds him incredibly talented and inspiring? Well, it's a good thing we canceled him so good!