Miss Manners: Why do customers think it’s OK to say these things to me?

If they're joking, it's not funny. If they're not joking, it's worse.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have worked retail and customer service jobs for about 20 years.

Whenever an item is not scanning, out comes the old joke that if it doesn’t scan, it’s free.

I recently informed a customer that even on my very first day of retail, that joke has never been funny. He then told me I do not have a sense of humor.

Why, why do people think jokes like that are funny? They really are not.

And some people, instead of joking, are even being serious! If the item doesn’t scan, rather than try and get a price for the item, they want the cashier to just give it to them! No matter how much it might cost!

Why do people think either of these is OK? What is going through their minds? I certainly have no clue.

GENTLE READER: Deep breaths.

Clearly, the customer is not always right, or amusing, but there is another retail maxim that applies here, which is not to take out one’s frustrations (with the scanner, in this case) on the customer.

Miss Manners will agree with you that even on Day 1, this was not very funny. But it had (and, for the customer, still has) some slight newness that could pass for banter, or at least lightness of tone.

More deep breaths.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: So, three couples will share a luxurious house for two weeks on vacation out of the country.

Everyone has paid their one-third share. The couples are close friends. All are financially secure.

At the last minute, one couple gets COVID. If the ill couple travels, they will expose their friends and the other airline passengers to COVID. The other two couples go and enjoy the beautiful resort house.

No one has travel insurance. Legally, the sick couple is not entitled to any refund for the rental.

Due to the close friendship and personal generosity, should this couple get some compensation from their friends?

I believe a partial reimbursement would be the best policy. Do you agree?

GENTLE READER: It troubles Miss Manners to reduce the etiquette of what happened to a financial transaction.

You say that none of the couples are in financial need, so there is no need for a refund. But if money is to change hands, someone is going to have to raise the subject.

Miss Manners would not object to the healthy couples voluntarily offering the sick couple a refund — although a more natural topic of conversation would be to ask how their friends are feeling and whether there is anything they can do to aid in their recovery.

As to the sick couple, why would the money be foremost in their minds? Do they feel in some way put-upon — either because they were unable to get their money back, or because they had to miss their flight to protect the health of others?

If so, this is a feeling best kept to themselves, lest it diminish our otherwise natural sympathy for them.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.