We take a night off from our kid every week – people judge us but it makes us better parents
A WORKING couple take a day off from their baby every week to get a “guaranteed” good nights sleep and says it makes them “better parents”.
Lauren, 31, and Ross Stevens, 34, were looking for childcare solutions for their 14-month-old Sophie so Lauren could return to work.
The parents, from Edinburgh, couldn’t afford the £1,700 monthly bill for full-time nursery and don’t have family in the same city.
They decided to let Ross’ parents pick their granddaughter up from a half day at nursery every Monday and take them back to their home 90 miles away in Ayrshire.
Sophie then spends the night, before they take her back to nursery for the afternoon on Tuesday – when Lauren then picks her up.
The day allows the parents to get a guaranteed good nights sleep and get on top of household chores and for Sophie to have quality time with her grandparents.
Lauren, who works in finance, said: “Nursery is so expensive.
“It’s treble our mortgage to have her in for five days a week. Even four days was double.
“I asked Ross’ parents if they would be interested in doing the over night. They wanted to help.
“I think it has been brilliant.
“I get to do things like shopping, cleaning. Because we get that time off we get it all done.
“I get a guaranteed night of good sleep. She didn’t sleep until 11 months old – we’re seriously sleep deprived.
“It makes us better parents.
“I can then just focus on being with her.”
Lauren and Ross, a building merchant, pay for two half days of nursery a week – costing £79 – and two days with a childminder.
Ross’ parents look after Sophie on Monday afternoon through to Tuesday lunch time in their Ayrshire home – an hour and a half away.
Lauren is then with Sophie on Wednesday and she goes to a childminder for the rest of the week.
Lauren was a little worried about the arrangement at first.
She said: “The fact it was formal – it was nerve-wracking.
“It comes with its challenges. There is guilt around it.”
Lauren uses the time to get on top of the housework and chores as well as having some down time.
She said: “I don’t have to sneak around. I go for a bath.
“I’m not then stressed about cleaning the house. It alleviates all that.
“We don’t have the dropping her off with family for half an hour.”
Different parenting styles explained
There are four recognised styles of parenting explained below:
Authoritarian Parenting
What some might describe as ‘regimental’ or ‘strict parenting.
Parents with this style focus on strict rules, obedience, and discipline.
Authoritarian parents take over the decision-making power, rarely giving children any input in the matter.
When it comes to rules, you believe it’s “my way or the highway.”
Permissive Parenting
Often referred to as ‘soft parenting’ or ‘yes mums/dads’.
Permissive parents are lenient, only stepping in when there’s a serious problem.
They’re quite forgiving and they adopt an attitude of “kids will be kids.”
Oftentimes they act more like friends than authoritative figures.
Authoritative Parenting
Authoritative parents provide their children with rules and boundaries, but they also give them the freedom to make decisions.
With an authoritative parenting style, parents validate their children’s feelings while also making it clear that the adults are ultimately in charge.
They use positive reinforcement techniques, like praise and reward systems, as opposed to harsh punishments.
Neglectful or Uninvolved Parenting
Essentially, neglectful parents ignore their children, who receive little guidance, nurturing, and parental attention.
They don’t set rules or expectations, and they tend to have minimal knowledge about what their children are doing.
Uninvolved parents expect children to raise themselves. They don’t devote much time or energy to meeting children’s basic needs.
Uninvolved parents may be neglectful but it’s not always intentional. A parent with mental health issues or substance abuse problems, for example, may not be able to care for a child’s physical or emotional needs consistently.
The couple haven’t used the time off yet for a date night but hope to start treating themselves to one once a month.
Lauren says it’s also for Sophie’s grandparents to get quality time with her.
She said: “It’s more valuable for them. They have a cuddle before bed time. They are nicer memories.
“They are absolutely loving it. They wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Lauren says she has had some backhanded compliments from friends and online strangers.
She said: “They say ‘I would have loved to have that but I just can’t ever be apart’.
“I’m a person as well – I have to make sure all my cups are full.
“Otherwise you won’t be a good parent.”