How do I stop my controlling mother from moving near me?
DEAR DEIDRE: I MOVED across the country to escape my controlling mother, but now she’s followed me here too.
I’ve done everything in my power to escape her grip, but she will never let go.
I’m a 42-year-old woman and ever since I was a child my mother has been incredibly overbearing.
Whether it was taking my door off its hinges, rummaging through my stuff or constantly reading my text messages, there were never any boundaries.
When I got married I hoped that she would finally take a step back, but if anything she got worse. She constantly calls, texts or turns up unannounced at my house and work.
When my husband and I decided to move to his hometown up north, I was so excited to finally have some distance between us.
Yet now she’s found a new job and a house here and says she’ll be moving up in a few weeks.
How do I stop her?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Dealing with a controlling parent can be challenging and in this case may require a thoughtful approach.
It sounds like she is very needy and you need to set some boundaries.
Unfortunately, she is unlikely to change, and as hard as it may be, you have to stop trying to please her.
Be honest with her and tell her that you don’t want her to move so close to you. Explain that you need your space and that if she decides to go through with it, nothing will change that.
My support pack Standing Up For Yourself explains how to talk to her.
