Constantly Think About Mistakes You’ve Made? This Is How To Stop

All of us have no doubt turned out the lights, climbed into bed and just as we were about to drop off, remembered something bad that happened. Really bad. And then, found it swimming around our brains on repeat while we break down every single detail. 

However, if this something you find yourself doing more often than not, you may be struggling with obsessive ruminating.

According to the American Psychiatry Association: “Rumination involves repetitive thinking or dwelling on negative feelings and distress and their causes and consequences.

“The repetitive, negative aspect of rumination can contribute to the development of depression or anxiety and can worsen existing conditions.”

While these thoughts may feel inescapable, there are ways to stop your obsessive thoughts in their tracks.

How to stop ruminating

Distract yourself

Psychology Today advise: “Do a distraction activity that’s “cognitively absorbing,” meaning you’ll be drawn in by it and you’ll concentrate on the activity, and not be thinking about your ruminations.

“Ideally, this should be an activity outside your wheelhouse, something you wouldn’t usually do. An unusual-for-you activity will be absorbing and break you out of your thought process.”

Try box breathing

Box breathing involves breathing in for a count of 4, holding that breath for a count of 4, breathing all the way out for a count of 4, and holding for a count of 4. 

According to the mental health experts at Calm: “By taking control of your breath, you’re helping your nervous system shift from a stressed “fight or flight” mode to a relaxed state.”

Do a grounding technique, like the 333 rule

According to Calm: “The 333 rule can act as a mental anchor, helping to ground your swirling thoughts and emotions, pulling you back to the present moment. It’s like a gentle hand guiding you from stress and worry and leading you back to tranquility and clarity.”

You can do this by:

• Naming 3 things you can see
• Naming 3 things you can touch
• Naming 3 things you can hear

When to contact a doctor about obsessive thoughts

 If you find that grounding techniques and distraction aren’t working and your thoughts are still very obsessive, speak to your GP.

Your GP can help you get to the root of your problem and refer you to specialists that can help.

Help and support:

• Mind, open Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on 0300 123 3393.
• Samaritans offers a listening service which is open 24 hours a day, on 116 123 (UK and ROI - this number is FREE to call and will not appear on your phone bill).
• CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably) offer a helpline open 5pm-midnight, 365 days a year, on 0800 58 58 58, and a webchat service.
• The Mix is a free support service for people under 25. Call 0808 808 4994 or email help@themix.org.uk
• Rethink Mental Illness offers practical help through its advice line which can be reached on 0808 801 0525 (Monday to Friday 10am-4pm). More info can be found on rethink.org.