Late Night Drops Jokes on Biden’s Drop-Out
“He didn’t drop out so much as he kind of just wandered off …”
For two weeks now, late-night hosts have been taking stock of the intensifying pressure on Joe Biden to drop out of the upcoming presidential election. On Sunday, the president finally caved into the growing demands when he announced on X that he was bowing out and throwing his support behind Vice-President Kamala Harris. It’s safe to say the writers of these shows returned to work Monday morning with a clear mandate: to write. Late Night With Seth Meyers and The Daily Show are both on hiatus this week, so the world didn’t get to hear Meyers or Jon Stewart weigh in on Biden’s big announcement — though Stewart posted the word legend on X over the weekend — but late night’s other hosts all took the opportunity to respond to Sunday’s election shake-up.
The Late Show With Stephen Colbert
“This makes sense,” Stephen Colbert began Monday’s monologue about Biden’s announcement. “It’ll give him time to rest up for 2028.” The host commended Biden for the selflessness of his decision to drop out, ran down a few of his major accomplishments while in office (“Most inspiring of all? At no point was he Donald Trump”), then announced that he would be repurposing all of his “Joe Biden Old” jokes as “Donald Trump Old” jokes going forward. “That guy is so old, he used to judge the Ms. Pangaea Pageant,” he read aloud from a fittingly labeled binder.
In response to the news that Harris had become the presumptive nominee, Colbert danced and remarked, “That is the dance of a man who finally has something new to talk about after five years.” Then, after acknowledging the all-important Charli XCX Harris endorsement that rolled in over the weekend, he danced some more, doing the “Apple” dance that’s all over TikTok right now. “That’s two dance breaks in one monologue,” he said. “We are living through history, ladies and gentlemen.”
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
“Typically, on Sundays, everyone thinks about quitting their job, but Biden is the first person to actually go through with it,” Fallon joked at the top of Monday evening’s monologue. “Biden supporters gathered outside the White House to thank him for dropping out of the race. Biden’s not quite sure how to feel, you know? I mean, ‘Thanks for leaving’ is not really a compliment.” Fallon went on to address the near certainty that Harris will be Biden’s replacement and Trump reacting to the news that Biden had dropped out of the election by calling him “the worst president in history and an incompetent man.” “Glad that ‘unify the country’ thing lasted a full eight seconds,” Fallon rolled his eyes in response.
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Filling in for Jimmy Kimmel on Monday while the host remains on summer vacation was actor and comedian Lamorne Morris. He began by talking about how he’d recently been nominated for his first Emmy for his work on the TV show Fargo, then segued into politics by noting, “I now have accepted more nominations this year than Joe Biden.” Of Biden’s decision, he joked, “He didn’t drop out so much as he kind of just wandered off …” Trump, Morris went on to say, may have more to fear in Harris as a prospective opponent than Biden, given Harris is a trained lawyer: “He’s only lost to Joe Biden once, but he loses to lawyers like twice a week.”
After Midnight
Even Taylor Tomlinson’s After Midnight, which now begins with a short monologue at the top of each episode, commented on Biden’s decision to drop out of the election. And it did so in a characteristically After Midnight way: by playing a viral video of a person concerned that Biden dropping out on Sunday had stolen focus from their birthday. “Don’t view it as Biden overshadowing your birthday, view it as a weird gift,” Tomlinson said. “You know, like all old-people presents: ‘Oh, thank you, Grandma. I do still love crayons!’”
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