J.D. Vance's Stupid 'Ruminations' Blog Is Saving My Soul From Total Darkness

This week, as J.D. Vance continues to settle into his new role as former president Donald Trump's running mate, his old blog, "The Ruminations of JD Hamel," resurfaced on Twitter. The Ohio Senator's musings haven't been updated since 2010 when Vance was still a law student at Yale, but it's most certainly bringing the beleaguered of 2024—namely, me—a lot of joy in these exceedingly trying times. Before I get into the blog's four posts, I feel I must first remind everyone that no New York Times bestseller should ever be confused for a creative or even intelligent person. Anyway! Vance's "ruminations" began in 2005 with a post titled "Start Up," which the veteran Marine published before departing for Iraq on July 11. "There are obviously a lot of personal things I'm going to want to say through email and phone, but this thing will serve its own purpose, and also be a recorded journal of all my thoughts and feelings over the 7-month deployment," Vance wrote to his readers. "I'll also be able to post some photos of myself up here, either in this website or in another forum I'll have to create once I'm in Iraq." Every JD Vance digging-into-his-past story is either like, "In 2014 he appears to have participated in the viral Ice Bucket Challenge to raise money for ALS research" or "On a 2022 podcast he said only fire can cleanse the Nation's spirit from the stain of the weak and the… https://t.co/cfjv3dGq0F — Tom Gara (@tomgara) July 23, 2024 Well, either Vance was short on time or had not a solitary thought or feeling in the seven months that followed because he only posted once during his deployment on August 27, when he first arrived in Iraq. There are no photos to be found either. Just before that blog post, however, the then-21-year-old shared a dispatch from North Carolina where it sounds like he was suffering the growing pains known to any post-undergrad cishet white male. "I couldn't watch Garden State because New Jersey's landscape is so much like Ohio's," Vance wrote. I wonder if Zach Braff knows he's responsible for making the ultimate millennial sad boys' film? "The music is so relevant to my life right now, and the story of a guy returning home, realizing that home isn't what it used to be, etc. made me want to tear up. The comment he makes about realizing that the place he grew up isn't really home anymore, and his theory that people settle down because when you lose your home you want to make a new one really resonates with me right now, and I'm sure it does with some of you too." It gets better. Vance was apparently so overcome with sadness that he: "felt more like a female than I think I ever have or will." Big "fellas, is it gay to feel basic human emotion?" vibes. Don't worry. He worked through it by reading a Winston Churchill biography and the Bible before noting that he's only ever cried three times since he was 13 years old. One month later he arrived in Iraq. First millennial VP. There are risks https://t.co/1DaGRkiGkm — Jacob Rosenberg (@jrrosenb) July 23, 2024 "As the saying goes, my boots just hit the ground, around 4 am Iraq time, which is 8pm (the previous day) your time," he began in the post entitled, "In Iraq." Vance then offered a "brief rundown" of his travel day...which was not very brief at all. To keep it brief for this blog: It was 125 degrees in Kuwait where he arrived before moving onto…