My girlfriend has lost all interest in sex

DEAR DEIDRE: Sex with my girlfriend used to be amazing, but recently she has lost all interest.

I’m at a loss for what to do and I’m worried that our sex life is doomed forever.

I’m 53, she’s 50 and we’ve been together for two years.

In the beginning, we were having sex at least once a day. While I knew things would slow down as we settled into our relationship, the last thing I expected was for my girlfriend to go off of sex altogether.

It’s been three months since we were last intimate and every night it’s the same thing; she seems in a race to get to sleep as soon as we go up to bed, rolling over as quick as she can.

Anytime I try to initiate she’s got the longest list of excuses; she’s too tired or is worried about her kids hearing us, her back hurts or she’s got to get up early and so it goes on.

I’ve tried everything to reignite our spark but nothing seems to work.
She always shuts down and changes the conversation if I try to address the elephant in the room

I know she was sexually abused by her uncle when she was younger, so a part of me wonders if that has recently come to the surface.

The last thing I want to do is pressure her, but how can I fix things if she won’t even talk about it?

DEIDRE SAYS: There is clearly something deeper at play here.

Try not to underestimate the effect that childhood abuse has had on her. My support pack about child abuse will give you an insight into what she has gone through.

Another factor to consider is that she could be experiencing menopause symptoms, which can often impact sex drive.

My support pack Menopause and How to Revive a Woman’s Sex Drive will help.

Rekindling the intimacy between you may take time, but as long as you’re being supportive and communicating openly, things will eventually get back on track.