I’m Too Hot to Handle’s intimacy coach – I have strict rule for stopping contestants falling for me
HE’S a smooth-talking, spiritual intimacy expert who helps the stars of Netflix’s Too Hot To Handle enhance their sexual chemistry.
As a prominent voice in all things communication, well-being and sexual positivity – it’s no surprise that Brenden Durrell is alluring to show stars and viewers alike.
However, the former baseball player has a strict rule in place that immediately shuts down any potential feelings that might develop towards him.
Speaking exclusively to The Sun from his home in Ecuador, Brenden says: “It’s a difficult thing. Within the show and my work and retreats and workshops, never.
“I have a really firm boundary in the realms of like, ‘no, it’s okay you feel that way, but I represent something for you, I’m not that thing for you’.
“That’s that’s the way that I go about it, and in the case of Too Hot To Handle I’m forever ‘big bro’.
“I don’t come in like an authoritative figure like, ‘Hey, listen to me, my way or the highway’. I’m like, ‘no, I’m big bro and you can feel safe with me and work that way’.”
He continues: “But I do get my fair share of wild messages. Like if we did a series on that you’d be in stitches laughing because some of it… I feel violated with some of the stuff that I get.
“But it’s all in good faith. I’m grateful that I can be in position where, you know, I am attractive to people in a lot of ways.”
Season six of Too Hot To Handle recently returned to screens with some bold new elements.
Not only has the prize pot been increased to $250,000, but the introduction of the virtual ‘Bad Lana’ allows contestants to go against the show’s very premise and exercise their sexual desires without having money stripped from the prize pot.
The programme has taken a leaf out of Love Island‘s playbook to and brought back previous contestants Flavia and Louis – dubbed grenades as opposed to the villa bombshells – for extra drama.
Having appeared in five series’ of Too Hot, Brenden has issued Love Island bosses with a come and get me, and would love the chance to share his expertise with Islanders.
He says: “Let’s get it on record. I would love to work for Love Island. So producers like just bring me out. I would love to be on Love is Blind also, that’s another one.
“I feel like I offer an emotional intelligence, but not in a way where it’s like super zen. I feel like when people are offered reflections about how they’re relating with one another that offers a deeper intimacy and more sparks for the show.
“So if I switch this little thing, then there’ll be a deeper spark. And then that’s better for TV and for their relationship and their connection.”
What I’ve learned from most people, myself included, is that we have these two major fears: fear of the unknown, and then fear of intimacy
Brenden Durrell
He’d also like to see the introduction of team-building games to boost connection between contestants in a way that the raunchier -and perhaps increasingly tired – challenges fail to do.
A regular gripe among loyal fans that there has been a distinct lack of fun games and challenges in recent series’.
Brenden says: “It doesn’t have to be a workshop structure, but maybe some kind of scavenger hunt or games that people get to see their true colours.
“For instance, in marriage couples therapy. A lot of times the a therapist will have them go on a canoe trip because you have to have teamwork, you have to have good communication, you have to have patience, and also you’re in the realms of working together with the elements.
“I feel like Love Island would be cool if they implemented some aspects of that just so we could see how these flames are actually compatible with each other in other ways outside of just the cameras and looking good.”
SPREADING THE LOVE
Brenden currently has a number of projects in the works including a documentary series that sees him travelling the world with different healers and an interview series which will be broadcast on a streaming platform.
He’s also hard at work developing his Unknown Intimacy brand and project that is a culmination of everything he’s learnt in his 14 years embracing spirituality and personal development.
“What I’ve learned from most people, myself included, is that we have these two major fears: fear of the unknown, and then fear of intimacy,” he explains.
“I’m like, I’m going to create a brand around that because I want to support people in those two fears and getting rid of them.
“We’re doing multimedia projects, retreats, workshops, and a lot of ecotourism because a big part of intimacy work for me is going into nature. I go into the Amazon rainforest all the time. I go up to the volcanoes all the time here and, for me, it goes hand in hand.
“We have to connect with the earth, and then I feel connecting with the earth literally leads us to a better and happy life with sex, with romance and all those things.
“So yeah, I know intimacy is gonna be a lifelong project. And it’s a multimedia project. So yeah, just help people get to the root of why they’re afraid of life essentially, and why they’re afraid of love.”