EastEnders must not fall into the soap serial killer trap if Reiss Colwell is to murder again
SOAPS always work best when there’s a raging killer on the loose – and now EastEnders are testing that theory.
When you think of iconic serial killers in soap – it’s always the ones that enjoy it that go down in history.
Corrie’s Richard Hillman and Pat Phelan, and Emmerdale’s delicious Meena Jutla – murders never seemed to be a chore for them.
Viewers like to watch people enjoying themselves – even if their favourite past time involves going through their neighbours like a knife through butter.
Sometimes literally.
The least favourite killers are guilt-stricken murderers who blunder their way through killings wishing they hadn’t.
It’s dull and not enjoyable as a viewer.
Corrie’s Stephen Reid’s killing spree was barely made a blip in Weatherfield – or with viewers.
He killed nonentities that viewers didn’t care about, seemed constantly frustrated with himself and was about as enjoyable to watch as Love Island. Seriously, let it die, ITV. I beg you.
I fear creepy drip Reiss Colwell could be the latter and following in the footsteps of Stephen.
Viewers watched him murder his comatose wife Debbie earlier this week in the least secure private hospital in existence.
Not only did he manage to get in without being noticed, he sat down and had a long chat with his consciousness-challenged other half, before sobbing and smothering her with a pillow.
Forgive me for being blunt but if I’m going to watch a murder on a soap – someone should be enjoying themselves.
In Emmerdale, Meena’s killings came with glee and joy and usually a nice dance break to one of Britney Spears’ many hits.
It was so refreshing to watch. And viewers loved it.
In the days after the killing Reiss has done little more than mope around, feel a bit guilty – though not enough to hand himself in, mind – and mope a little bit more.
Most devastating soap deaths
SOAP viewers are frequently left heartbroken after watching some of their favourite characters bite the dust.
Here is a list of the most devastating deaths that have taken place in soapland over the years.
EASTENDERS
Barry Evans – Evil Janine (Charlie Brooks) lured her trusting fiance to Scotland for a quickie marriage after learning he was dying.
Her plan to inherit Barry’s fortune was thwarted when Barry told her that the doctors had mixed up his medical files.
Furious that she was no longer set for a windfall, she pushed Barry off a cliff after telling him their love was “fake”.
Bradley Branning – Bradley was accused of killing Stacey Slater’s rapist Archie Mitchell (Larry Lamb) after he punched him twice on the night he died.
He was spotted in the Square by a police woman who chased him up a fire escape.
Bradley lost his balance and tragically plunged to his death.
CORONATION STREET
Tina McIntyre – Tina was getting it on with Peter Barlow – despite him being married to Carla Connor.
When she threatened to reveal the truth, Carla’s brother Rob got into a physical altercation with her.
Tina lost her footing and fell off a balcony – then warned Rob she was going to tell the cops he pushed her.
In a panic, Rob brutally clobbered her over the head with a metal pipe.
EMMERDALE
Sarah Sugden – After the family got into financial problems, Sarah’s son Andy (Kelvin Fletcher) decided to make some quick cash from an insurance company by setting fire to the Sugden barn.
He didn’t realise his mum was inside the building, and she got trapped in the blaze.
Nine villagers – The shocking 1993 plane crash episode brought in 18 million viewers for Emmerdale.
Mark Hughes was killed by a falling wall, Archie Brooks was burned by jet fuel, Elizabeth Pollard was killed by debris and newcomer Leonard Kempinski died in a car crash caused by the crash.
Five other non-recurring characters from the village also died.
HOLLYOAKS
Carmel McQueen – The talented singer died in shocking scenes when a train crashed into a her family’s car.
Carmel managed to free her cousin Theresa from the rubble – but got stuck in it herself.
Moments later the train exploded and Carmel died in the arms of her family members, promising to be their guardian angel.
It’s draining watching him dry sob his way through condolences.
So, EastEnders bosses, should he kill again – and we don’t know that he will – please, please let him enjoy it.
Let him unleash and merrily murder his friends and neighbours – I have a list if you’re stuck – and we can all have a lovely time.
Otherwise we’re in for a bumpy road to the 40th when there’s so much untapped mad and creepy killer potential in Reiss.