I’m 21 & naturally curvy – I was dress-coded by an older woman on the train, her comment was the worst I’ve ever heard
A SHOCKED young woman confronted an OAP on a train after overhearing her say “No wonder they get raped” because of how she was dressed.
Daniella Rakhdoune was travelling to meet a friend dressed in a leopard print Bardot top and a white mini-skirt.
The 21-year-old overheard the remark and decided to confront the elderly woman.
Daniella was travelling from Angmering, West Sussex, to see a pal in Brighton on Saturday (27 Jul).
The drama student said the pensioner, who was in her 70s or 80s, made the comment after spotting Daniella’s outfit as soon as she hopped on the train.
Daniella filmed the confrontation and posted the clip on TikTok where it racked up 48,000 likes and more than 1,300 comments.
In the clip, Danielle can be heard saying: “When you said ‘There’s no wonder why they get raped’ I hope you weren’t talking about me.”
The woman responds: “You girlies walk around with very little clothes on, looking beautiful.
“These men, they look at you and they want to be with you”.
Daniella tells the woman she should be able to wear what she wants, but the other passenger said that she should “take care of herself and cover up a little bit.”
Daniella argued: “Well, I think what the worry is, is the man if they feel like they should rape someone.
“It’s nothing to do with me.”
The lady added: “Men don’t think the same way as us” and told Daniella to be “very careful.”
Daniella, of Rustington, said: “I got on the train and walked down the carriage.
“As soon as I sat down, I heard ‘no wonder they get raped’.
“I sat there for two minutes wondering if it was aimed at me. The train was quiet and I thought it had to be aimed at me.
“I felt awful and disgusted.
“You can’t comprehend that someone’s mind works like that, especially a woman. For a second, I wondered if I should have dressed differently and covered up.
“There’s no way she can think that’s acceptable.
“There’s no way someone can say something like that about me, I had to say something. I’m 21 and that’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard.
“As soon as she said it I got my phone out, I thought it couldn’t just be me that heard this. She wasn’t embarrassed. She stuck to her guns.
“She said that people like me have to cover up to protect ourselves and that it worries her when there are rapists out there.
“What’s worrying is the rapists, not how I dress. She said not all men have that mindset. It felt like she was saying that if something were to happen to me, I would have deserved it.”
Shocked Daniella moved carriages to get away from the unnamed woman, who was sitting with her husband.
You can’t comprehend that someone’s mind works like that, especially a woman. For a second, I wondered if I should have dressed differently and covered up.
Daniella Rakhdoune
Daniella said: “Her husband didn’t say a word. I sat there for a bit but then I moved carriage. I was a bit self-conscious after that.
“I was concerned about what I was wearing. I didn’t want people to think that I wanted attention. I spoke to my sister and she told me not to let this woman have power over ruining my evening.”
Jayda commented on her video: “It’s exhausting explaining this to the older generation. I’m naturally quite curvy I can’t help that I fill out my clothes. I get followed by men regardless of what I’m wearing.”
One follower said: “You’re such a brave young lady. You are eloquent and strong and handled this so well.”
How you can get help
Women's Aid has this advice for victims and their families:
- Always keep your phone nearby.
- Get in touch with charities for help, including the Women’s Aid live chat helpline and services such as SupportLine.
- If you are in danger, call 999.
- Familiarise yourself with the Silent Solution, reporting abuse without speaking down the phone, instead dialing “55”.
- Always keep some money on you, including change for a pay phone or bus fare.
- If you suspect your partner is about to attack you, try to go to a lower-risk area of the house – for example, where there is a way out and access to a telephone.
- Avoid the kitchen and garage, where there are likely to be knives or other weapons. Avoid rooms where you might become trapped, such as the bathroom, or where you might be shut into a cupboard or other small space.
If you are a victim of domestic abuse, SupportLine is open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 6pm to 8pm on 01708 765200. The charity’s email support service is open weekdays and weekends during the crisis – messageinfo@supportline.org.uk.
Women’s Aid provides a live chat service – available weekdays from 8am-6pm and weekends 10am-6pm.
You can also call the freephone 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.
Another added: “This was so brave of you truly. It’s honestly empowering to see you confront her like that right then and there. I know I wouldn’t have been able to.”
Daniela commented: “You’re way too nice about it.”
Daniella said: “People in the comments have been saying I should have said this or that and some people said I was too calm but I was in shock and I didn’t think responding like that would have resolved anything.
“I can’t put into words how unacceptable it is. The blame would never be on the victim. I shouldn’t ever have to go out wearing something I don’t want to wear. I’m never going to do that.
“It’s sad that someone thinks like that.”