My ex’s mum said I had the body of a Shetland Pony – she called me ‘common’ and made me WEIGH myself in front of her
WHETHER it’s comments about your looks or your parenting style, some mother-in-laws don’t hold back.
One woman couldn’t believe the offensive remarks her ex’s mum made about her body and her accent.
In her viral video, TikTok user Sarah (@imtheproblem) recalled some of the worst experiences that she had with her former mother-in-law.
She explained that her ex and his mum had been estranged for 11 years before reconnecting.
Sarah said that the older woman was obsessed with her son, saying at points it seemed like she even “fancied” him.
According to the TikToker, her ex’s mum “blanked” her when they first met and didn’t speak to her for days.
When her ex confronted his mum about her behaviour she said the language barrier prevented her from interacting with her daughter-in-law.
She even said that Sarah should learn her native language out of respect, despite her own son not even speaking it fluently.
“She went as far as to say that I had a common accent,” Sarah explained.
While she acknowledged that she speaks fast, she pointed out that the woman had no trouble understanding others with similar accents, including her son.
Sarah also revealed the constant fat-shaming she endured fronm her mother-in-law during the relationship.
“She compared me to a Shetland Pony, which really hurt at the time,” she said.
She explained that she thinks the comment was made in regards to her shorter legs.
Sarah recalled how one night her ex’s mum cooked a traditional meal from her home country.
Since she was a vegetarian at the time, the TikTok user was only able to eat the side salad but praised the meal.
She described the “rampage” her mother-in-law went on about how “starving myself wouldn’t make a difference.”
The older woman said she was naturally thin and didn’t have to worry about her weight but explained that she could help Sarah.
Tips for coping with problematic family members
From in-laws to estranged family members, the experts at Harley Therapy have broken down the steps to consider when dealing with a difficult family relationship.
- Get the timing right: Avoid speaking in stressful environments or when you’re feeling emotional or exhausted.
- Give yourself all the attention: Take a step back and focus on yourself to get the energy to deal with others.
- Communicate clearly: Don’t assumer your family know what your’re thinking or feeling.
- Give up the games: Don’t bring up the past or drag others into your conflict. Don’t view a dispute as something that needs to be “won.”
- Get big on boundaries: These should be made clearly and in person, said directly, shared at a calm moment, and repeated until heard.
- Listen like it’s the first time: Avoid “selective listening” and don’t assume you know what the other person is going to say.
- Manage it with mindfulness: Lay aside the past, stop panicking about the future, and focus on the present.
- Switch perspectives: While you may not agree this can help you to stop taking things so personally.
- When all else fails, accept: Don’t lose your energy, mental well-being, and respect for others by trying to force them to see your side if they refuse to.
Source: Harley Therapy
She “marched” her daughter-in-law to the bathroom scales and told her to weigh herself in front of not only her but her son and his friend too.
Sarah explained that she never expressed a desire to lose weight to her mother-in-law but her boyfriend encouraged her to take his mum up on the offer as a way to bond.
She revealed that the “final straw” occurred at a family event, which she took her sister to for back up.
Not only did Sarah’s mother-in-law have no difficulty understanding her sister’s accent, she fawned over her figure for the whole night.
TikTok users shared their thoughts on the situation in the comments section.
“The Shetland Pony comment would catch me so off guard,” wrote one viewer.
“Almost a million people can understand you just fine. She was just saaaaalty,” pointed out another follower.
“She was SOOOOOO jealous of you and how stunning you are,” commented a third person.
