I’ve made £25k babysitting my own grandkids – people say I’m ‘selfish’ and ‘grabby’ but it’s cheaper than nursery
AS I scoop up Elodie, my treasured five-month-old granddaughter, I plant a kiss on her cheek.
She really is a darling — like all my daughter Amanda’s children.
As a grandmother of seven and mum of five, I’m used to tending to kids.
From snotty noses to dirty nappies, I’ve seen it all.
But, after retiring from part-time teaching in 2018, I don’t necessarily want to deal with it any more.
My husband Brian died aged 67 from pancreatic cancer in December 2015 and I quit teaching in December 2018.
But I became a teaching assistant in 2022 to top up my widow’s pension amid the cost-of-living crisis.
So when Amanda, 39, asked if I would babysit two full days a week, my heart sank and I thought, “But what about MY life?”.
Then I thought about it more and said I would do the childcare . . . for a price.
I thought £15 for a half-day per child or up to £50 for a full day was a very generous offer.
I love my life
But Amanda was astonished. She argued that nans up and down the country would jump at the chance to spend time with their grandkids.
I was steadfast though and I felt vindicated last week when I read in Fabulous Daily about Rebecca Tidy, a mum from Cornwall who charged for play dates with her six-year-old daughter Mabel.
People said she was selfish, but money doesn’t grow on trees.
Amanda is on maternity leave from her job as a teaching assistant but works as a cleaner.
I thought £15 for a half-day per child or up to £50 for a full day was a very generous offer
Caroline Duddridge
She and her partner, Grafton, 40, who works as a complaints officer, ummed and ahhed before agreeing to my terms, but now I have their three kids — Elodie, Esmee, ten, and Elvie, five — from 8.30am to 5pm up to four days a week.
The arrangement started when Esmee turned one in 2014, and since then my prices have gone up in line with inflation. I’ve earned £25k in total.
And while Amanda was irritated initially, she realised “nanna day care” is a lot cheaper than nursery, which is £75 per child daily.
I pick them up from her house in Cardiff before we do various activities. This could be a walk in the park or soft play, parent and toddler groups or swimming.
In 2018 I also started looking after my 34-year-old daughter Elizabeth’s children, who are 14, 11 and five. I charge them the same.
Of course, I like having them — they’re my grandkids and I love them — but would clambering after lively little ones be my ideal way to spend a day? Of course not.
My child-rearing days are long behind me and you wouldn’t drop a kid off at a nursery and expect not to pay a bill.
Plus, I’m not some grey-haired granny who sits alone in her home all day doing nothing.
I’m not bored, I love my life and don’t want the burden of caring for kids
Caroline Duddridge
I’m dating again and after Brian died, I got into the gym.
I go for a 90-minute workout five times a week. Looking sexy is so important to me.
I’m not bored, I love my life and don’t want the burden of caring for kids decades after doing it for my daughters aged 39, 34 and 31, and sons aged 36 and 26.
Looking after children is a sacrifice and I initially considered it cheeky of Amanda to even ask me. That’s why I told her: “I’ll do it, but I’m not being taken for a ride” and we negotiated the terms like it was a proper job.
She pays me via bank transfer and I’ve never had to chase payment.
But I know Amanda has moaned about me to her friends because she said they thought I was “money-grabbing” and “selfish”.
And this isn’t the first time I have charged my family for something.
I cook Christmas dinner every year at my home in Cardiff and charge £10 each for adults and £5 each for kids to cover the cost of the ingredients.
In 2023 I added in an electricity charge, because with energy hikes and me being a widow, you have to be careful. I know young parents and grandparents will think I am bonkers, selfish and grabby but I don’t care.
I need to look after my future. What I’m doing doesn’t mean I love my grandchildren less, it just means I’m sensible.
DAUGHTER AMANDA SAYS
I WENT back to work in September 2014 when my first daughter, Esmee, was one.
My mum had cooed over her when she was born and I expected she would be thrilled to help look after her.
All my friends had raved at how their parents were amazing babysitters.
But after a month, Mum called time on the freebie babysitting.
When she told me she wanted to be paid, I thought she was joking.
My friends thought she was being selfish.
I’m now resigned to it. My kids get the best of care with her and I’m saving at least £35 a day paying her and not an expensive nursery.
It’s still a bit cheeky, mind you. I have to check my mum’s dating and gym schedule to make sure it doesn’t clash with looking after the grandkids.
In a way, I respect her for standing firm.
But I won’t charge my kids to look after my grandkids when they are older. I just don’t 7 have it in me.