I hate the summer holidays – my 14-year-old gives me nothing but attitude and I feel like I’m running a B&B – it’s hell
A WOMAN has admitted that she hates the six week summer holidays.
The mum-of-two confessed that not only do the school holidays make her feel like a maid, but she also feels as though she is running a B&B.
The mother took to social media to open up about her struggles, leaving many open-mouthed.
Posting on Mumsnet, under the school-holidays forum, the anonymous woman titled her post ‘I hate summer holidays!’
She confirmed that her children are 14 and 11, as she said: “I’m finding this summer holiday really tough and we are only just starting week two.
“I feel like a live-in maid or like I’m running a B&B. Anyone else feel like this?”
The mother then admitted: “I’m getting so low with constantly having to tidy something up (kids or animals), feed something (kids or animals) and having to base my days around every other person apart from myself.”
Clearly struggling, the mum confessed: “I feel I have no one to talk to.
“I’m feeling low and angry and hating my home life at the moment.”
The stressed-out woman later explained: “[My] 14-year-old sleeps in till around lunchtime and gives me nothing but attitude.
“[My] 11-year-old sits on the iPad all day.
“I know I need to be the one to make the change and be firm with them pulling their own weight around the house but I get nothing but complaints and it’s not fair and I’m not doing it.
“Then when I carry out with consequences it’s like I’m the worst person in the world.
“I know it’s just how parenting is, but I just dread the summer holidays because it’s mainly all down to me and I feel so lonely.”
SUPPORT FLOODS IN
Mumsnet users rushed to the comments to share messages of love, support and advice, for the overwhelmed parent.
One person advised: “I would call a family meeting and set out some new house rules. Are you married or have a partner? Get him on board too.
How to survive six weeks of school summer holidays
IF you are struggling with the six week summer holidays, you've come to the right place...
BATTLING BOREDOM: Despite hours of activities and playdates, if your kids are already complaining there’s nothing to do, parenting expert Liat Hughes Joshi says: “Don’t feel you have to organise every second of the holidays. Kids benefit from boredom and learn to make their own fun.
“Boredom can trigger creative and imaginative play but you need to encourage kids to get used to not being told how to spend their time.
“Ride out the pleas of boredom. Counter it with comments such as, ‘What do you think you could do?’ and maybe have a list of ‘I’m bored’ activity ideas on the fridge.”
SCREEN OVERLOAD: It’s tempting during the holidays to rely on a digital babysitter but don’t let them gawp their whole summer away in front of a screen.
Liat says: “It’s unfair to expect older kids to power down but it’s important to set some ground rules.
“Set family tech rules together. If you’re often distracted by your phone, follow the rules too. Maybe tell the kids they aren’t allowed any screen time until they’ve done set chores, some exercise, or a board game.
“Are there times when you’d like to ban screens completely? Perhaps during dinner or when they have friends over to visit.
“Tech is a battleground for parents, but you have to set boundaries. Stand firm and be prepared to be unpopular.”
TOO MUCH TOGETHERNESS: You love your kids, but being with them 24/7 can be exhausting. Do not feel guilty if you need a bit of downtime.
Liat says: “If you’re juggling work and household tasks as well as occupying the kids, it’s normal to start feeling overwhelmed or jaded and in need of some peace.
“If you can’t afford or don’t want to send your kids to all-day camps, look for free kids’ workshops so you can get on with jobs or have a break for a couple of hours.
“Seeking a spell of quiet every now and then doesn’t make you a bad parent — in fact it will probably make you more positive and enthusiastic when you are with the kids.”
SCHEDULING CONFLICT: Schedules can go out the window during holidays, but late nights and early mornings can mean tired and unhappy children.
Dr Tamara Bugembe, paediatrician and founder of Helperbees.co.uk says: “Children get grumpy, test boundaries and become challenging when routines are broken.
“Sticking to some kind of routine during the holidays is a good idea.
“We release hormones at different times of the day and when regular meal times and bed times are broken, it causes dips and peaks in mood.
“Holidays are about having fun but an early night once or twice a week will make everyone happier.”
EXCESS ENERGY: Make sure kids get out in the fresh air to tire them out — and make them healthier and happier.
Dr Bugembe says: “Sunshine also tops up vital vitamin D levels which helps improve bone strength and energy levels in children. Our levels run low in winter so let the kids stock up in warmer weather.
“Letting them run around in shorts and a T-shirt is the best way to top up. Make sure they’re wearing sun cream, get outside and have fun.
“Encourage them to try healthy habits such as cycling and walking. They’ll hopefully get hooked and want to carry them on when the weather gets colder.”
“Explain that in return for pocket money there will be certain expectations. It’s OK for them to lie in (although our house rule is no later than 11am). And a bit more screen time is normal, but all day isn’t healthy.
“And at their ages you don’t need to wait on them! They can get their own food, get them to experiment with new breakfasts or lunches, get them baking themselves some nice snacks.”
To this, the anonymous mother replied: “A family meeting sounds actually like a very good idea. I am married, yes!
“When my husband is home he is very helpful and often takes the majority of the home chores off my hands. I am very lucky.
Where can kids eat for free this summer?
THE summer holidays are here, but entertaining the kids need not cost a fortune.
Here, we reveal where you can get free and cheap meals for your little ones during the ‘endless’ summer holidays.
ASDA CAFE: Nip into an Asda cafe to feed the kids after the weekly shop.
Under-16s get a hot or cold meal for £1 at any time of day.
Little ones are covered, too.
Kids under 18 months get a free Ella’s baby food pouch with any purchase.
BEEFEATER: This family-friendly pub chain makes mornings a breeze.
Two kids under 16 eat for free with the purchase of an adult breakfast for £10.99.
It’s available from 6.30am to 10.30am midweek and 7am to 11am at weekends.
BELLA ITALIA: Book a table and order an adult meal at the Italian eatery for kids aged two to 11 to get three courses and a drink for £1.
Offer valid between 4pm and 6pm on Sundays to Wednesdays.
On Thursdays, kids eat free all day when an adult meal is ordered from the a la carte menu.
DUNELM: Make homeware shopping a fun day out.
Dunelm’s Pausa Cafes are offering free kids’ meals for every £4 spent on their food or drink.
Available all day, every day.
BILL’S: Dine in at a Bill’s restaurant to get up to two free kids’ meals (normally £6.95 each) with an adult meal.
Valid weekdays only until August 30.
IKEA: Make it a food day at the Swedish home store.
On every day except Fridays, enjoy a pit stop at their famous cafe from 11am to get a kids’ pasta or mac and cheese dish for 95p.
Other mini meals are available for £1.50.
PIZZA EXPRESS: Kids up to age ten can get a free three-course Piccolo meal including dough balls, pizza or pasta and dessert with every adult meal purchased.
The offer runs every day until August 11.
TESCO: Pop to the supermarket cafe from Monday to Friday until August 30 for free kids’ meals when an adult buys any item in the cafe.
You must have a Clubcard to redeem the offer.
THE RANGE: Kids under 16 get one free meal per adult main purchased at The Range cafes.
Options include sandwiches, a cooked breakfast and fish and chips.
All kids’ meals come with a piece of fruit and a drink.
“I like the rule of no later than 11am lie in, that’s good. I’ve started to back off with my 14-year-old and talking to her about how to make what she wants for her lunch and cleaning away after herself.
“It’s just the attitude that comes with it that drives me insane as she then says I’m playing favourites by still doing things for my 11-year-old.
“Life is just very overwhelming during summer holidays.”
A second advised: “You need to make some house rules it seems. Wake the 14-year-old up at a reasonable hour, maybe 10/10:30, they tidy up after themselves, no iPad until the necessary chores are done (and no backchatting or none at all) have a conversation about what and what isn’t acceptable.
“Surely they can make their own food at that age but why not teach them some cooking skills?”
Free summer holiday activites
You don't need to spend a penny to keep your kids entertained this summer...
Museums – Some museums offer free entry to some exhibits, and also host events for kids.
Parks – Head to your local park to enjoy the playgrounds, games areas, courts and splash pads. Some even have trails for kids to enjoy.
Beach – It doesn’t have to be sunny to enjoy the beach, you can go rock pooling, crabbing, make sandcastles, or enjoy a walk along the headland.
Library – If the weather is awful, head indoors and borrow books, audiobooks, dvds.
Cooking – Have your own mini bake-off, or Come Dine With Me challenge.
Playdates – Invite friends over for an afternoon of socialising.
Boardgames – Enjoy a little sibling rivalry with rounds of Monopoly or stretch your brain with Scrabble.
Whilst someone else recommended: “A written routine or list of reminders might help both of them.
“If you have a smart speaker, set alarms on it for the 11-year-old to remind them to eat, and offer to teach them how to make meals and snacks.
“Set aside one on one time for both of them. School holidays can feel very full on!”
PARENTS RELATE
At the same time, many other mums confessed that they too struggle in the six week holidays.
One parent explained: “Yep, I’m struggling too. My kids seem to think I have a never ending snack cupboard.”
Another added: “Yep hate it too. I get so fed up and lonely.”
Whilst a third commented: “I feel the same! My kids are the same age and I have a younger child too. I’m quite worn out!”