Blake Lively says she feels 'guilty' for working instead of spending time with family

Earlier this year, Blake Lively said she and her husband Ryan Reynolds agreed "not to work at the same time" when they started dating.

• Blake Lively says she feels guilty whenever she has to choose between work and family commitments.
• The "Gossip Girl" star has four children with her husband, Ryan Reynolds.
• A 2015 Pew Research study showed that working dads experience mom guilt too.

Even Blake Lively isn't immune to mom guilt.

The actor spoke to Entertainment Tonight in a joint interview with her "It Ends with Us" costar Jenny Slate about how she balances work and family time.

During the interview, Lively said she was grateful for the bond she had with Slate because they shared many similar experiences as working mothers.

"We love our work and we take it very, very seriously, and we work very, very, very hard, and we completely immerse ourselves in our work," Lively said. "But who we are is defined by our personal lives so much more than our work, and we can be both of those things at once."

Lively has four children with her husband, Ryan Reynolds: James, 9, Inez, 7, Betty, 4, and Olin, 1. Slate welcomed her first child — a daughter — in 2021.

The "Gossip Girl" star added that she sometimes finds it hard to manage the guilt she feels when she prioritizes one responsibility over another.

"When you're working, sometimes you feel guilty for, you know, not being in your personal life in those hours you're at work," Lively said. "And then when you're at work, you feel guilty by being distracted by wishing that you were at your personal life."

But despite her busy schedule, Lively has worked out a way to carve out time for her family.

In February, she revealed that she and Reynolds agreed "not to work at the same time" when they started dating so they could always prioritize their personal lives.

The decision not to have overlapping work schedules required a lot of effort to uphold, Lively said: "That takes working really hard when we're not. Just like financial planning and sustaining that; it takes balance."

Managing mom guilt

A 2017 survey of 900 participants conducted by GoodtoKnow, a UK-based parenting site, found that 78% of mothers feel guilty, with 68% saying this occurred once or twice a day. 61% also said they compared themselves to other moms.

Even though a 2015 study has shown that children's academic and emotional well-being isn't necessarily dependent on the amount of time they spend with their mothers, working moms everywhere still feel mom guilt anyway.

As it turns out, working fathers are just as likely to feel the same way, according to a 2015 Pew Research study.

Living with chronic guilt can have a serious impact on stress levels and mental health, causing anxiety, depression, as well as increased blood pressure, according to functional medicine specialist Melissa Young, per Cleveland Clinic. She recommends framing self-care as a way to better care for others.

Self-care methods can include taking a relaxing bath or going for a walk, she said. Other ways of managing mom guilt include practicing meditation, avoiding comparison, and connecting with others — such as with a partner, a friend, or even a therapist — about these emotions.

A representative for Lively did not immediately respond to a request for comment sent outside regular business hours.