Francis Ngannou pondered retirement after death of his son, but wants to do 'something good in his memory'

Francis Ngannou has had a hard time dealing with life without his son.

The former UFC heavyweight champion tragically suffered the death of his 15-month old son, Kobe, in April, which had him contemplating his fighting future.

However, Ngannou (17-3 MMA, 0-0 PFL) has decided to keep fighting to honor his son. He makes his PFL debut Oct. 19 vs. heavyweight champ Renan Ferreira (13-3 MMA, 7-1 PFL) in a main event that airs live on pay-per-view.

“I think it has been by far my hardest (moment) in life,” Ngannou told Sky Sports Boxing. ‘I lost my son. For some time, I felt like I didn’t even have to do this or questioning about if I should do it or fight again. But, I want to do something good in his memory. Not to be the reason for me to quit but to be motivation and also to fight for him.”

Ngannou clarified that retiring merely was a small thought. His trauma was far bigger than fighting.

“It’s not that I have come close to retiring,” Ngannou continued. “It’s just that in this circumstance you think, you have different thoughts. You see how fragile life is. You feel hurt, you feel powerless, you feel useless. You’re questioning about your existence, about the importance of all of this, or life in general.”