Your 9-Year-Old Just Got Their Period. What Do You Do Now?

Childhood looks different for our kids. Not only from the outside — more technology, more Sephora shopping sprees — but from the inside, too. Children are hitting puberty earlier than previous generations. Which means, in many cases, they’re hitting growth milestones earlier than previous generations, including getting their first period.

“On average, girls typically start having their periods around the age of 12, with some normal variation ranging between the ages of 11 to 16. But recent research shows that children are beginning to hit puberty earlier these days, with some girls starting their period before the age of  9 years old,” Karla Robinson, MD, Medical Editor at GoodRx tells SheKnows.

The idea of your nine-year-old  (or 10-year-old, or eight-year-old) getting their period can be alarming and stressful — after all, nine is supposed to belong to Judy Blume and scraped knees at recess, not period apps and tampons. So what can you do to support your child? SheKnows spoke to the experts to help you determine what to do when your young tween gets their period.

Understanding Why Children Are Getting Their Periods Earlier

When your child gets their period when still in elementary school, your first thought might be: why? While “why” won’t help you figure out what to do next, it may help you feel more informed and slightly (very slightly) more prepared for what to do next.

The bad news is that “we don’t know exactly why children are getting their periods earlier,” Dr. Cara Natterson, a pediatrician and New York Times bestselling author of ten books including The Care and Keeping of You series and co-writer of the bestselling book, THIS IS SO AWKWARD: Modern Puberty Explained tells SheKnows. “But there are a couple of big drivers that we’re pretty sure are shifting things.”

According to Natterson, the two factors most likely responsible for the earlier onset of puberty are the endocrine-disrupting chemicals in our food, drinks, air, toiletries, and more; and stress.

“I actually think [stress] is probably more significant,” says Natterson, who explains that there’s likely a stress response where cortisol impacts brain signals that direct the ovaries/testicles to start producing hormones. “When we look at the data [on] kids who live in stressful circumstances, they score high on the ACES scores — abuse, traumatic, massive life-altering things. If you track their puberty, they are entering puberty much earlier.”

Explaining Periods To A Younger Tween

If your pre-tween gets their period at a young age, your first response might be to panic.

Please don’t. Instead, be prepared. Parents should begin preparing for their child’s first period when they notice early signs of puberty, like a growth spurt, breast growth, and vaginal discharge.

Then, when their period comes, “[t]alk to your child calmly, explaining what a period is and the changes they are going through. Walking them through the steps of the menstrual cycle can help clarify what they can expect,” says Robinson.

If you’re not sure where to start, start by asking your child to share what they’ve heard about periods, suggests Dr. Saru Bala, Licensed Naturopathic Doctor and Thinx partner. “This gives you both a starting point to build the conversation around, as they can share their thoughts, feelings, and any specific questions.”

Validate whatever feelings come up for your child and listen to their answers. Your child’s responses can help give you a sense of what stereotypes, misinformation, or fears they hold and help steer the conversation in the right direction for them.

“The more knowledge your child has about what’s happening in their body, the less isolating and confused they’ll feel,” notes Bala.

Supporting Your Child Who Got Their Period Early

Being one of the first to get your period among your friends can be scary and isolating for kids. Parents can support their kids emotionally and logistically by first normalizing periods in general.

“Parents can help by reassuring their child and explaining what’s happening to their body is a normal and expected process, it’s just happening on their body’s timeline,” says Robinson. “It’s important to remind your child that this is completely normal. Even if she may be among the first of their friends to experience this, that’s ok. Every person’s body is different and develops at its own pace.”

In this instance, social media and technology can be helpful.

“One thing the world has done really well is destigmatize periods,” notes Natterson, who highlights how even Olympic athletes are talking about playing their sport with their period. “There’s so much messaging that’s so empowering for people who get their period. It’s a way for parents to get into the conversation.”

She encourages parents to use social media and technology to engage their kids, even showing them memes or videos or sending them over text. “It’s an easy interpreter for you because you share common ground,” she explains.

But just because the social language around periods is empowering, doesn’t mean it’s easy for the earliest bloomers, notes Natterson. “It’s a challenge to be a little kid inside a more adult body. Managing curves and how adults are reacting to you… this is hard.” She encourages non-judgmental, matter-of-fact conversations and urges parents to avoid imposing their own feelings onto their child.

Help Your Child Manage Period Logistics

Beyond the emotional support, parents can help support their young tweens by helping them navigate the logistics of getting their period, something that may be difficult for kids whose executive function has not yet caught up with their body’s changes.

Younger kids typically start with pads and period underwear, but it’s completely fine if they want to start using tampons or other products that are inserted, says Natterson. However, parents must ensure that their child understands their body anatomy and hygiene.

Natterson encourages parents to have period packs in their child’s backpack and to help them with planning and organization, things like thinking through how often to change pads or how to dispose of used products. “Simple conversations that are short, interspersed, and always end with ‘I’m here for more questions’ or ‘let’s talk about this more later,’” can help prevent parents and kids from feeling overwhelmed, she says.

Health Concerns Around Earlier Periods

While periods—and puberty—are occurring earlier in general, parents should also be aware of the health concerns related to puberty arriving too early.

“Kids who experience puberty too early — a condition called precocious puberty — could face long-term health problems if it isn’t addressed,” advises Robinson. “For girls, getting their period marks the end of puberty. So if their first period happens before the age of 10, it means puberty may have started before 8 years old, which could be a sign of precocious puberty. Other indications of precocious puberty include developing underarm and pubic hair, body odor, and breast development before the age of 8.“

Precocious puberty may result in kids failing to their full height, an increased risk of anxiety or depression, or — according to some studies — an elevated risk of developing breast cancer.

“In some cases, precocious puberty can be the result of underlying brain tumors, developmental conditions and other medical reasons,” notes Robinson. With that in mind, parents should speak to their child’s primary care provider if they notice signs of early puberty.

Getting your period early can be scary for children and their parents, but navigating this time doesn’t have to be. Knowledge, preparation, and a little grace — for both parents and kids — can go a long way.

Before you go, shop these skincare brands your teen will love: