I have become obsessed with cleaning my brother’s filthy house
DEAR DEIDRE: I CAN’T stop cleaning my brother’s house.
I’m a woman of 50 and my brother is 48.
Ten years ago, my mother died and my brother inherited her home, where we’d grown up.
My brother is lazy and I’m convinced he’s never cleaned the house himself.
Whenever I turn up, it’s filthy, with mouldy food everywhere and he never takes the bins out.
I couldn’t bear to see it fall apart so I began cleaning it . . . but I’ve now become my brother’s weekly cleaner and he doesn’t pay me a penny.
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My friend said if he chooses to live in filth then I should let him but I can’t bear to see my childhood home in such a state.
How do I stop this cycle of behaviour?
READ MORE DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Listen to your friend’s good advice.
By cleaning up your brother’s mess you’re enabling him to live in this way because he knows you’ll pick up after him.
If you leave him to his own devices he may decide he doesn’t want to live in a mess after all.