Family drama erupts as woman wants 'break' from hosting Thanksgiving, accused of being 'selfish'
A woman who said she is 40 years old with a large family "needs a break this year" from hosting Thanksgiving at her home after many years of doing so — yet she's taking heat for the declaration after the family has grown accustomed to her generosity.
Over 2,500 people reacted to the social media post in a short period of time with over 700 comments logged as of Sunday morning.
"I’m 40F, and I have six sisters," "Acemer0904" wrote on the Reddit forum known as "Am I the a--hole" (AITA).
She has two older sisters and four younger sisters, she said, and in their "close-knit family," she's the one who's "taken on the responsibility of hosting Thanksgiving" at her house for a full decade, she wrote.
"I enjoy having everyone over, but it’s a lot of work, especially since we all have at least 2 kids each (all in the age group 5-15). It’s chaos, but joyful chaos," she added.
While her husband helps her with the responsibility, she said, "the majority of the planning, cooking and organizing falls on me."
So this year, with life as "hectic" as it is and amid her feelings of burnout, she decided she "needs a break… Between work, taking care of my kids (10,11M) and other responsibilities, I’m just not up for the task of hosting a big family gathering. So, I suggested that one of my sisters take over hosting Thanksgiving this year."
When she brought it up in a family group chat — "thinking it would be a reasonable request and it’s plenty ahead of time" — her two older sisters did not take kindly to the suggestion.
They "were not happy with the idea," she wrote in her post.
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They said they're either too busy or have "smaller houses," or they're "dealing with a lot of stress" and don't "have the energy to host."
As a result, both older sisters suggested the same sister keep doing it again this year to "keep the tradition going" — plus, she knows how to do it right, they insisted.
The younger sisters, the woman wrote, "were more understanding," yet none of them offered to take over hosting duties this year.
The woman wrote on Reddit that she is remaining "firm" about her decision and said she "really needs someone else to host this year. I suggested we could even make it a potluck to ease the burden" — but that didn't work either.
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The two older sisters "accused me of being selfish and abandoning a family tradition that I’ve upheld for years," the woman wrote.
"They argued that I’m the one with the most experience, and that Thanksgiving just wouldn’t be the same if I didn’t host."
Now, she said, there is "tension in the family, with my older sisters feeling like I’m letting them down."
The woman insisted in her Reddit post that she feels she's "done my fair share over the years, and it’s not unreasonable to ask for a break. But at the same time, I understand that my older sisters are also under a lot of pressure, and that hosting Thanksgiving is a big deal for our family."
She asked others on the social media platform if she's wrong for "refusing to host Thanksgiving this year after doing it for the past decade."
In an addendum to her post, she noted that one of the older sisters "handles Christmas" each year.
"So I feel like it’s totally fair that she [does] not want to do both" holidays.
She also noted that the Christmas-hosting sister "does not cook… She hires a catering company, but it’s still a lot to take on regardless."
Fox News Digital reached out to an etiquette expert and a psychologist for comment.
Meanwhile, the top "upvoted" comment from others on the platform reads this way: "Oof, they have nerve. No. Of course you’re [not wrong]. You’ve been doing the lion's share and want a break? How dare you! And your sister using the excuse that she’s stressed? Guess what? Welcome to adulthood. We’re all stressed here."
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The same commenter added, "You may consider mentioning once more the possibility of a potluck at someone else’s house, and maybe even offer your guidance for whomever decides to take on the task. But that would be it. You’ve done more than enough."
Another person wrote, "Props to you for standing up for yourself."
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And yet another responder to the drama wrote, "Thanksgiving is a lot of work. Your sisters are using ‘tradition’ as a tool to manipulate you into doing a lot of work without any reciprocity."
The same person added, "I think you've been too nice. Lay it out frankly."
The commenter continued, "Either the work of hosting Thanksgiving becomes more equitable or you're never hosting your sisters again."
Another person shared a suggestion for the Reddit poster.
"Fascinating how these alleged family traditions are so important to those who refuse to share in the considerable burden – time, expense and effort. Hope you can go to a nice restaurant, doubtlessly with an appropriate feast available, and have a nice relaxing day."
Still another Reddit commenter wrote this about the family: "They are being incredibly selfish. Your stress is just as valid as theirs."