Diversity Win! Sony Just Announced A ‘Three Stooges’ Reboot That Reimagines The Stooges As A Queer Throuple Who Solve Their Disputes With Couples Counseling Instead Of Violence

Fans of classic slapstick comedy, your day has come, because Sony just announced an exciting new Three Stooges reboot that reimagines the stooges as a queer throuple who solve their disputes with couples counseling instead of violence.

Thank you! Finally, a Three Stooges reboot for the modern age.

Hollywood has been making some major strides when it comes to inclusivity, and it doesn’t look like they’re slowing down, as Sony Pictures just announced that they will be reimagining the most famous slapstick trio of all time as a group of queer men from Bushwick who are in a long-term three-way relationship with one another. Just like the old Stooges, these three will be getting a little hot-headed, but instead of bonking one another with frying pans and gouging each other’s eyes, they’ll be sitting down once a week with a $750-an-hour couples counselor to work through their feelings of frustration in therapy.

A publicist for Sony explained, “The Three Stooges story deserves to be brought to a fresh audience in an updated way. While the core values of friendship and adventure that have always been the backbone of the franchise will remain, the heteronormative narrative and glorification of domestic violence rampant in the original films had to go. We’ve updated the series in a way that speaks to the diversity of modern relationships and modern sensibilities surrounding violence and torture. However, we promise that watching the Stooges use ‘I statements’ and somatic grounding exercises to work through their issues of inter-throuple jealousy and poor communication in therapy will be just as outrageous and laugh-out-loud funny as watching the Stooges burn one another with cigars and knock each other off of ladders. These are still the Three Stooges you know and love.”

So. Much. Yes. This is exactly what the world needs right now.

There’s still more to learn about this new project, but a teaser released alongside the film’s announcement has already revealed that Dan Levy will be playing Moe, Neil Patrick Harris will be playing Larry, and Curly will be entirely computer-generated. We can’t imagine a more perfect cast. We’re definitely going to be first in line for this one and we can’t wait to see what nonviolent, emotionally mature antics ensue in the shrink’s office and in the bedroom! This is a major diversity win!