Ian McKellen Details 'Agonizing Pain,' Fear of Leaving Home After Stage Fall

At 85 years old, Sir Ian McKellen can't afford to take any nasty falls, but that's exactly what happened when he tumbled off the stage while performing in a play in London's West End back in June. McKellen has been working on his recovery since then, and needless to say it hasn't been easy for the acclaimed actor. 

The Tony-winning star opened up about his recuperation process in a new interview with Saga magazine. 

"I’ve relived that fall I don’t know how many times. It was horrible," he admitted. 

"It was in the battle scene. My foot got caught in a chair, and trying to shake it off I started to slide on some newspaper that was scattered over the stage, like I was on a skateboard. The more I tried to get rid of it, the faster I proceeded down a step, onto the forestage, and then on to the lap of someone in the front row," he recounted. "I started screaming, 'Help me!' and then 'I’m sorry! I don’t do this!' Extraordinary things. I thought it was the end of something. It was very upsetting."

He pointed out that he didn't mean his death, but his "participation in the play."

"I have to keep assuring myself that I’m not too old to act and it was just a bloody accident," he said. "I didn’t lose consciousness, I hadn’t been dizzy, but I’ve not been able to go back and they still played without me." His understudy ended up finishing out the production of Player Kings, a new adaptation of Shakespeare's Henry IV. 

"I don’t feel guilty, but the accident has let down the whole production," he confessed. "I feel such shame. I was hoping to be able to rejoin the play on the tour, but I couldn’t."

His character's outfit is what ended up saving him from further injury. "I was wearing a fat suit for Falstaff and that saved my ribs and other joints. So I’ve had a lucky escape really," he quipped. Still, he's wearing a neck brace and has his right hand in a splint. But his injuries are more than just physical.  

"My chipped vertebrae and fractured wrist are not yet mended," he explained. "I don’t go out because I get nervous in case someone bangs into me, and I’ve got agonizing pains in my shoulders to do with my whole frame having been jolted."

McKellen reportedly ended his relationship with his partner earlier this year, so he's had to rely on his "beloved friends next door" in his recovery to shop and cook for him.  "I couldn’t manage without them," he confessed. "If they weren’t there I suppose I’d have to employ somebody to do that or go to a [convalescent] home for a spell."

It doesn't look like McKellen is going to let this setback officially end his career.