The Response to Tim Walz's Son's Proud Tears at the DNC Is a Telling Look At Masculinity & Emotion
Minnesota governor (and Democratic Vice Presidential candidate!) Tim Walz has garnered a reputation as “America’s Dad” — and it isn’t hard to see why. The former teacher and football coach, who adorably featured his dog Scout in his first TikTok, has that dad-like aura, perhaps because he’s still very much in the trenches of being a real-life dad to kids Hope, 23, and Gus, 17. His family — decent, loving, down-to-earth, and unproblematic — is the stuff the American Dream is made of.
So when Gus Walz showed his unabashed support as his father accepted the Democratic nomination — cheering enthusiastically, openly weeping, and saying, “That’s my dad!” — it was a heartwarming display of a son’s unwavering love, from a family already adored for their closeness.
But what strikes me is that people seem to be looking for a reason behind Gus Walz’s open display of emotion — something to attribute the tears to other than a kid being proud of his dad, as though they need to find a valid excuse. As though a teenage boy openly crying is only OK if there’s some sort of root cause.
Many outlets reporting the story seem to insinuate that Gus’s neurodivergence may have played a part; opening up to PEOPLE magazine recently, Tim Walz said, “When he was becoming a teenager, we learned that Gus has a non-verbal learning disorder in addition to an anxiety disorder and ADHD, conditions that millions of Americans also have.” (It’s important to note that in this case, “non-verbal” does not mean non-speaking — Cleveland Clinic says that “Nonverbal learning disorders affect activities that don’t involve words or speech,” mostly problem-solving and visual-spatial tasks.) The Walzes describe their son as “brilliant, hyper-aware of details that many of us pass by, and above all else, he’s an excellent son and brother to his sibling.”
And of course, the MAGA crowd went wild, seizing the opportunity to gleefully skewer Gus’s tears as evidence that the left is “soft.”
“Talk about weird,” vile conservative media pundit Ann Coulter posted on X, with a link to an article about the younger Walz crying. After much well-deserved backlash, she deleted the tweet — but her opinion is by no means the only disgusting commentary spewed forth. Talk radio host Jay Weber tweeted, and then deleted, calling Gus a “blubbering b*tch boy” and adding, “If the Walzs [sic] represent today’s American man, this country is screwed.” Mike Crispi, podcaster and Chairman of America First Republicans of New Jersey, also took to X, saying in another now-deleted tweet (are we sensing a theme here?), “Tim Walz stupid crying son isn’t the flex the left thinks it is. You raised your kid to be a puffy beta male. Congrats. Does Barron Trump cry? Nope. Does he love his father? Of course. That’s the types of values I want leading this country.”
The long-held expectation of men to be stoic and unemotional is doing our boys a huge disservice, and as the mother of four sons, I have a personal interest in changing that. There’s a social-emotional double standard that leads boys and men to be far less likely to seek mental health help when they need it, for fear of being perceived as “weak” — which is made even more sad, considering that we have literal evidence showing males are not unemotional; they’re just trained to act that way. Research indicates that there are minimal, if any, differences in how baby boys and girls display emotions. Some studies even suggest that baby boys may be more emotionally expressive than girls. A meta-analysis of over 150 studies involving more than 20,000 children and adolescents found few disparities in emotional expression during early infancy. However, these differences became more noticeable as the children grew older and were exposed to societal expectations and stereotypes. Is anyone surprised?
Because of this, mental health challenges have historically affected boys and girls differently, Robin Gurwitch, PhD, psychologist and a professor at Duke University School of Medicine, told WebMD. Girls are more prone to internalizing feelings of depression and anxiety compared to boys, while boys are less likely to openly express their emotions. “For decades, it’s been less permissible for boys to admit they don’t feel good and are under stress. It’s more acceptable for girls to acknowledge behavioral health problems,” she said.
As part of SheKnows’s “Be a Man” series, we asked a group of teen boys, part of our Gen Z Council, about the topic of showing emotion — and while several admitted they have no qualms about shedding tears themselves, they do still feel there’s some stigma associated with men crying.
“I don’t feel any shame around crying,” one 17-year-old told us. Another member of the Council, 18, said that he personally thinks it’s fine to cry, but noted when he asked friends at his high school graduation if they were going to cry, one had a telling answer. “One of my friends [who’s] a basketball player was like, ‘No, I’m not going to cry because my dad’s going to be there,’ or something like that. I think if you have a family that doesn’t allow, or is uncomfortable with it, it’s kind of harder.”
But back to Gus Walz: he, like the rest of us, is human. And as humans, we sometimes feel emotions so big, so deep, that we simply can’t contain them. Last night, the overwhelming emotion Gus felt was pride, and rightfully so.
I teared up every time one of my kids walked across the stage during their respective Kindergarten graduations, and practically had to glue myself into my chair when my oldest accepted his high school diploma — so I absolutely cannot imagine the depth of pride that must have been running through not only Gus, but the entire Walz family last night. What an amazing moment for them! There’s a quote that says, “Tears are words the heart can’t express.” To see someone you love so much accomplish something so monumental is an experience that no doubt transcends any ability to describe it, and in those moments, no matter who we are, or where we are, or who is watching — shouldn’t we be allowed to just feel — teen boys included?