I am worried about my son’s relationship with American girl he met online
DEAR DEIDRE: MY son has always been socially awkward, rarely mixing and never showing interest in girls.
So you can imagine my surprise when he said he was going to university.
At school all of his friendships were formed online. He had only a handful of friends he saw face-to-face, on rare occasions.
He’s now 22 and I’m his 53-year-old dad.
He only lasted two terms at uni and when he came home he told us he’d fallen for someone.
She lives in the US and is devoutly Christian.
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My son then sprung it on us that she was coming over to visit for a couple of weeks.
He only told us a few days before she was due to arrive, so we felt we couldn’t refuse.
Since her visit, he has made plans to go and stay with her.
I warned him that her family may not approve, as he isn’t religious, and was taken aback when he announced he was willing to start going to church if it meant he could be with her.
He then revealed that when he goes to the US, they plan to lie to her family and say he is already a practising Christian.
I’m so worried about the whole situation. I wish he wasn’t going. I realise my son is an adult but I feel he may be getting into dangerous territory.
I’d hoped their relationship would fizzle out naturally, due to the distance between them.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: It may well do, in time. He is in love but young and inexperienced.
But we all want the best for our children, no matter their age.
Keep talking to your son and let him know he can turn to you if he needs and wants advice.
He is an adult and old enough to make his own decisions. For now, he is choosing to be in this relationship.
If he and his girlfriend turn out to be incompatible, he needs to arrive at that realisation in his own time.