The Feud Between Aunt Catherine And HomeGoods/Marshalls, Explained

It’s been 97 days since Aunt Catherine stepped foot in a HomeGoods/Marshalls—besting her previous record by 95 days. But how did the feud between these two stalwarts of the Towne Square Plaza come to be? Let’s break it down.

The Key Players:

Aunt Catherine

Dhruv, the new assistant manager of the Towne Square Plaza HomeGoods/Marshalls

Melissa, the former assistant manager of Towne Square Plaza HomeGoods/Marshalls

The Timeline:

April 5, 2024: Aunt Catherine buys a Maidenform bra for $34.99. This is considered a Marshalls purchase. 

April 24, 2024: Melissa, who is 86 yearsold, retires from HomeGoods/Marshalls. Melissa and Aunt Catherine were good friends.

April 25, 2024: Dhruv is promoted from a HomeGoods branch 22 miles away to replace Melissa as the assistant manager.

April 30, 2024: Aunt Catherine buys a set of Halloween-themed potholders and meets Dhruv for the first time. Aunt Catherine tries to haggle the price down from $14.99 because one of the three smiling ghosts appears to be making more of a neutral face than a smile. Dhruv argues that not all of the ghosts were supposed to be smiling. Aunt Catherine argues that the non-smile is definitely the result of a manufacturing defect. Dhruv does not concede. Aunt Catherine leaves angrily, knowing that Melissa would’ve gone down to at least $12.50.

May 9th, 2024: Aunt Catherine finally tries on the bra she bought last month. Immediately, the strap snaps. 

May 10, 2024: Aunt Catherine asks for a full refund on the broken bra. Dhruv refuses, citing that the bra is no longer in sellable condition, has clearly been worn, and is over the 30-day return policy.

What Insults Did Aunt Catherine Throw At Dhruv?

• Stooge
• Hussy
• Mr. Marshall’s (condescending)

What Does Natasha Bedingfield Have To Do With It?

“Unwritten” played during both of their interactions.

Repercussions:

• Aunt Catherine will be boycotting the store until Dhruv is fired
• As a result, analysts speculate Aunt Catherine has already saved over $800 by not buying a bunch of random throw pillows or ceramic frogs or whatever each week
• Aunt Catherine has demanded no one in her inner circle—Peg, Barbara, Lucinda—shop at HomeGoods/Marshall’s until the feud is settled

Is TJ Maxx Affected?

Aunt Catherine knows that TJ Maxx is part of the same family of stores as HomeGoods/Marshalls, but because it’s located in a completely different plaza, with completely different management, it’s okay to shop there for now.

What’s The Latest?

Aunt Catherine has taken to leaving increasingly negative reviews of the store online, which means little to nothing, considering no one, not even Aunt Catherine, would ever bother to look up the reviews for a HomeGoods/Marshalls.