My boyfriend has sentenced me to a life of no intimacy
DEAR DEIDRE: TO the outside world, my boyfriend and I have the perfect relationship – but the reality is our sex life is non-existent.
I’m 29, he’s 31, and we’ve been together for four years.
At the beginning, we struggled to keep our hands off of each other, and our sexual chemistry was electric.
Over time I expected things to slow down, but nothing could have prepared me for things to die out completely.
It’s now been four months since we last had sex, and no matter what I do, my boyfriend is never interested.
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Every time I’ve tried to talk to him, he’s told me that he only enjoys the thrill of the chase – but now we’re in a relationship, the chase is over.
I’ve tried everything, from sending him flirty text messages to dressing up in sexy lingerie, but nothing works.
I love him so much, but I can’t bear the idea of never having sex again.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: While your partner is satisfied with no sex, it’s unfair to spring a life of no intimacy on you.
The longer he chooses to ignore the issue, the worse things will get.
Your feelings of resentfulness will grow, ultimately dooming your relationship.
Find a moment to talk to him and tell him how you’re feeling. Explain that sex is important to you, and if he’s not willing to work on things, your relationship won’t last.
I’m sending you my support pack, Different Sex Drives? to help.
Also consider some sex and relationship counselling. Contact the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (cosrt.org.uk).