I married the Turkish waiter from my family holiday – trolls call me a ‘visa wife’ & say I’m dumb to believe he loves me
WHEN Beth Çiftçi, now 25, from Surrey, went to Turkey with her family, she never imagined she’d fall in love with her hotel waiter.
She shares how a holiday romance turned out to be The One.
Lying in the hot Turkish sun, I felt my whole body relax.
I was 19, had just broken up with my boyfriend of three years, and some R&R on holiday was exactly what I needed.
Romance was the last thing on my mind as I arrived in the beach resort of Içmeler, Turkey, in July 2018.
I was just relieved to be with my mum Paula, now 60, dad Colin, 63, and sister Grace, 27.
We’d picked a small, family-run hotel, and on our first morning, a waiter came over to take our breakfast order.
I immediately spotted his amazing green eyes and dark hair, but I was so shy.
I never dreamed he’d even notice me.
Confident and chatty, Grace is my total opposite.
She got to know everyone, including Özgür, the gorgeous waiter.
She must have told him my name, because he came over to chat at breakfast one morning.
His English wasn’t perfect, but he was kind and funny.
We started talking every night in the bar, and a week into the holiday, Özgür asked if I’d like to go for an evening walk.
Instantly, the nerves kicked in, but I told myself to take a chance for once.
As we walked along the beach, he told me about his life, how he was 24 and had grown up on a farm in a small village.
Suddenly, we were holding hands, then kissing. It was magical.
I’d never had a holiday romance before.
But when Özgür said that I’d probably go home and forget all about him, I was sure that wouldn’t happen.
From the minute our car pulled away for the airport, we were texting, and we didn’t stop.
Back home in Surrey our video calls lasted hours, and I missed him desperately.
I felt like I was falling in love, but the only way to be sure was to see each other again, so I booked a trip back to Turkey that November.
My family were supportive, but I was anxious.
Would it feel the same after 10 weeks apart?
Seeing him waiting for me at the airport with flowers, I knew this was real.
We stayed in a flat together, and I was nervous about meeting his parents.
Özgür told me that when you greet someone older in Turkey, you take their hand, kiss it and then touch your forehead to it.
I was so worried I’d get it wrong.
But they were the loveliest people and had prepared a feast for us.
They didn’t speak any English and I didn’t speak Turkish, so Özgür had to translate, but somehow it wasn’t awkward.
‘Back in the UK, I made an effort to bring Turkish touches into our life so he didn’t get homesick’
Saying goodbye this time was so much harder, but I went back to visit in February and May 2019, and I started learning Turkish on Duolingo in the meantime.
In July 2019, a year after we met, my family and I returned to the same hotel in Içmeler.
That’s where Özgür proposed, and our loved ones were thrilled, though I suspected some people thought I was too young.
At my job in communications, some were surprised I was engaged aged 20.
At the start of our relationship, I had some reservations about the fact I’d only had one serious relationship before, and had not lived with Özgür.
So, after our engagement, I stayed with him for three months. I told my best friend: “I’m going to use this time to make sure that we are really compatible.”
Thankfully, we were!
Unfortunately, we were in different countries when the pandemic began in March 2020, and travelling to Turkey became almost impossible.
Being apart for 11 months was awful, but I had no fears about Özgür meeting someone else.
In December 2021, unsure if there would be another lockdown, we grabbed our chance and got married in Turkey.
Because of Covid, it was small, with just 15 guests and family watching from the UK on livestream, but I was just so happy.
The following May, Özgür was finally able to come to the UK, as we were legally married.
We’d decided to settle here, because he was used to working away from his family, whereas I was a real homebody.
We lived with my parents – and still do – which could have been tricky, but everyone gets along so well.
I was worried Özgür might get homesick, so I made an effort to bring Turkish touches into our lives – I found a local Turkish supermarket and we’d cook together, listen to Turkish music and watch his favourite TV shows.
It was a huge change for him, but he’s such a calm and determined person.
Apart from missing his family, it went well, and he soon got a job in a restaurant.
In October last year, we flew back to Turkey for the big wedding party we’d always wanted, with 1,000 guests.
In my huge traditional Turkish dress, I danced around my husband, shaking a clay pot, before smashing it on the ground for the children to enjoy the sweets inside. It was amazing.
While my friends and family love Özgür and know our love is real, not everyone is supportive.
Some people in Turkey see us holding hands, and I can feel their judgement.
In the UK, that doesn’t happen – I think because there’s more diversity.
Sadly, social media is another story. I posted a video of us that got 2.5 million views.
There were some horrible comments, calling me a “passport wife” and a “visa wife”, and saying they can’t believe how stupid I was to believe Özgür loved me.
It felt so unfair.
What does Özgür say?
“I’d had a couple of romantic relationships with guests before, but this was different.
“There were some big culture shocks when I moved to the UK, like the way people prefer being at home during the week and going to the pub at weekends, rather than sitting and drinking tea in cafes until midnight like we do, or the way Turkish families sit and eat meals together, whereas here everyone is rushing around.
“There are so many more laws in the UK, and it rains so much, but I still love it.
“At first, getting negative comments about my relationship with Beth wasn’t nice, but I wasn’t surprised – there are bad people out there who scam women.
“It’s just sad that everyone gets tarnished with the same brush.
“As for marrying someone to get a British passport, people don’t realise how hard it is to leave behind your family, friends and everything you’ve ever known.
“I love my country – but my love for Beth is stronger.”
At first, I’d respond ‘It’s funny when you think that you know more about someone on social media from one video than they know each other!’
But Özgür told me to focus on the lovely comments, of which there were many, instead. Now we shrug off any negativity.
We’re so happy and grateful that my family chose that hotel for our holiday.
It changed my life.
- Follow @Theciftcis on TikTok.