My husband has turned into a far right monster

DEAR DEIDRE: My husband has turned into a far-right monster. I don’t know who he is any longer.

When we married, he was lovely and enjoyed getting to know everyone – no matter what their colour or culture. Now he’s 62, he’s so different.

He’s started complaining that there are more Muslims around than Christians. He won’t let me shop in our local shops if they are owned by people with different colour skin. He’s ridiculous.

My cousins are both Asian and they were adopted but now he refuses to go to family get-togethers if they are going to be there.

He’s been disappearing on protests and marches and when I get cross with him he says, “If you don’t approve of what I’m doing, don’t ask me where I’m going”.

When the riots started a few weeks ago, he was longing for things to kick off in our hometown. I know he’d have been one of the troublemakers but thank goodness our town wasn’t affected.

I’m 58 and I’m his wife and I don’t like the person he’s become.
Our grown-up kids can barely speak to him. Is this a mid-life crisis of some sort?

DEIDRE SAYS: Perhaps but my guess is he’s been radicalised by reading about the far right online, through social media platforms.

He may have friends who hold the same views. In a quiet moment, tell him that you’re worried about him because his extreme views are affecting the whole family dynamic.

A check-up with the doctor may help you both to see whether there are cognitive changes responsible for his change in behaviour.

If he refuses to talk about it or talk to his GP, then some counselling yourself through BACP – British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, (www.bacp.co.uk, tel: 01455 883300) will help you to decide whether his new values mean that your marriage is now over for you.