My daughter gets jealous whenever I spend time with her sister
DEAR DEIDRE: MY younger daughter gets jealous whenever I take my elder daughter out to the cinema or a restaurant.
She seems to be resentful of any relationship I have with her sister and tells me she’s my favourite – but it isn’t true.
I’m a 60-year-old divorced man, with two girls, aged 30 and 32.
The elder one is married with a young baby and the younger one is single.
I’ve never favoured either daughter and have always tried to treat them equally. I enjoy their company as adults and like going out with each of them when I can.
If anything, I spend more time with the younger one because she lives alone and doesn’t have a husband or family commitments.
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But if I see her elder sister, and she hears about it, I get an earful.
She’ll complain I took her sister to a nicer restaurant than I took her to, or – if I give her sister money to help with the baby – that it’s not fair because she is short of money too.
She’s lonely and dearly wants to meet a man, but hasn’t had any success with dating. I’ve tried to give her advice, but she doesn’t listen.
Instead, she takes her frustration out on me and her elder sister, blaming us for her bad relationships.
What can I do?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You sound like a kind and loving dad, and you’ve done nothing wrong.
Your younger daughter is clearly jealous of her elder sister, who has the relationship and family she craves but can’t find.
It sounds like she may be insecure and perhaps feel she’s not good enough, or lovable enough – even though this isn’t true.
Maybe – if you don’t already do so – you need to tell her how much you love her, and give her self-esteem a boost.
For advice on parenting issues, contact Family Lives (familylives.org.uk, tel: 0808 800 2222).