I’m an air hostess – forget the mile-high club…layover foursomes & exotic affairs are the norm for most cabin crews
JOINING the mile-high club on a boozy holiday jet is the ultimate fantasy for many fliers.
But it is not just saucy sunseekers going bonkers for airborne action.
Sometimes the steward behaves worse than the passengers – with fumblings in the cockpit and orgies on the ground.
One air hostess, 28, tells Mel Fallowfield the sexy secrets of pilots and crew.
“I HAVE never met a pilot who has not cheated on his wife.
So far in my career working as an air hostess, I’ve had flings with five pilots.
I’ve heard of some people fooling around in the aptly named cockpit, but I’ve never joined the mile-high club.
That is only because the bunks pilots sleep in while they rest on the flights are tiny — and you would be hard pressed to fit two people in one for some bedroom athletics.
And I rule out the toilets because I know only too well how filthy they can be.
I shudder at the thought of it.
That doesn’t seem to put the passengers off, though.
We constantly witness couples — sometimes who have clearly just met in their seats — coming out of the loos.
I tend to leave them to it, unless it is upsetting other passengers.
Most of the cabin crew’s fun happens on the ground.
During layovers, we are put up in hotels — usually in hot, sexy places — between scheduled flights.
Add booze, swimming pools, casinos and Jacuzzis and even we begin to feel like we are on holiday.
Even the married staff get up to no good.
Their partners have no chance of finding out when they are away for work and everyone they are with is doing the same thing.
And while the sexual antics usually occur between pilots and stewards, loads of staff regularly hook up with locals and even escorts.
On top of that, there’s often threesomes or even foursomes.
I know of two male pilots and two female cabin crew members who regularly hook up if they are on the same schedule.
They are all remarkably laid back about it.
The first time I was told what went on, I tried to look for clues on the flight back that they’d all been having sex.
But there was nothing. They know how to keep things quiet.
It is hardly surprising that so much debauchery goes on given the level of alcohol we are drinking.
The boozing starts on the staff bus from the airport to the hotel, which is invariably five or four star with a pool.
We steal bottles from the plane — sometimes Champagne from First Class with a bit of caviar on the side if we are feeling really wild.
The drinking would carry on into the early hours of the morning, and for days if we had a long stopover.
It depends on the route but, in South Africa, we sometimes had five days off there while being paid, so it is a staff favourite.
Pilots have to stop drinking 24 hours before they fly.
But I’ve seen some of the cabin crew paralytic the night before, needing to be helped to bed.
There are spot checks, though, so they are playing with fire.
‘SEXIEST JOB’
I’ve seen the occasional weary air hostess use emergency passenger oxygen to help with their hangover — and I can vouch for it working.
I’ve had flights where I’ve fallen asleep standing up at the back of the plane as I’m so exhausted from all the partying.
And one where I was throwing up between serving drinks and food as I had hit the bottle the night before.
It is on those flights we have less patience with moaning passengers.
And if you are obnoxious, we will seek revenge. Your bread roll is a target.
I’ve wiped one round the toilet rim before when a passenger was particularly rude, complaining that he had waited too long for his drink and I was there to look after him.
I am, but there are hundreds of other passengers on board, too. And I am definitely not alone in doing this.
Sometimes we find things like condoms, underwear and tampons in the toilets, or stuffed behind seats, and we cannot be sure who did it.
On the other hand, some passengers are a delight to be around, especially the good-looking ones.
If a passenger is particularly attractive, I will write my number on the serviette and then pass him the drink.
It has worked out a couple of times, probably because being an air hostess is voted one of the sexiest jobs in the world.
And I’d say it’s truly one of the best, too.
Despite all the antics, I have always felt safe and have made enough memories — and friends — to last me a lifetime.