I only discovered my husband’s affair when the other woman got caught – there were no signs & his reason left me baffled
A WOMAN has been left flabbergasted after finding out about her husband’s affair – and the reason why he did it.
The thought of our partner cheating is heart breaking – but people have affairs for multiple reasons – including stress or marital problems.
But woman was left stunned when her husband gave his reason for disregarding their relationship for another woman.
She revealed the affair came to light after the other woman’s husband found out – leading her own husband to confess as well.
The affair seems to have been short lived as she explained what the other husband found on his wife’s phone.
“It was on and off texting, and a few meet ups extending to kissing and at least one sexual encounter,” she explained.
“Shortly after the sexual encounter, her DH (husband) twigged something was wrong, checked her phone, hey presto.”
Now, she says her husband is devastated about being found out and has done everything he can to make things right.
She added: “An absolutely broken man who pleaded for a chance to make amends and he has honestly worked tirelessly (couples counselling, purchased multiple books, changed lots of behaviours, massively attentive to me, a personality transplant) to save our relationship.
“Willing to do anything if I don’t leave him.”
However, she was still left confused by the whole affair and why it started to begin with.
She revealed there were no signs of the affair while it was going on and there had been no catalyst leading up to it to explain his actions.
“He is insistent that there was and is absolutely nothing wrong or missing in our relationship,” she continued.
“That he loves me as much as he ever did and is furious with himself that he didn’t “appreciate me” enough. He says he did what he did “because he could”.
“The opportunity was there (it was discussed, apparently, that both he and OW (other woman) were happy in their relationships, didn’t want to leave their spouses, but fancied each other and wanted a bit of fun) and he decided to just see how far he could push it.
“Assuming that I’d never, ever find out. And with no intention of leaving me/wanting anything else/doesn’t feel anything for her/wants to be with me forever.”
How common are affairs?
While we've all heard stories of partners cheating, we hope it never happens to us. But Illicit Affairs - a dating site for people already in relationships has revealed it's far more common than we might think.
According to the dating site, cheating is quite common in the UK, in fact, statistics show us that 18-20% of married couples experience infidelity at some point in their relationships.
You may be surprised to hear that infidelity does not always lead to divorce or a break-up. In fact, the statistics show us that around 53% of marriages that have experienced infidelity are able to recover after working through the issues.
Because infidelity often stems from pre-existing marital issues, oftentimes, couples are able to easily break down the root cause of the issue, which means they more easily work to build the relationship.
Once all the problems are out in the open, it allows couples to be much more open and honest with each other, which, in turn, can rebuild trust in the relationship.
“There were zero signs, and if you’d asked me I would have said we were in the best place we’ve ever been,” she added.
Now she was curious to hear if it was a legitimate reason wondering how someone could be in love but still choose to be with someone else.
The post went viral on Mumsnet and plenty of people took to the comments to share their thoughts.
One person wrote: “The biggest problem is losing the trust. However genuine the person is in their regret, there will always be that suspicion whenever they are texting or going out somewhere without them.”
Another commented: “Funny how these men are only devastated when it all comes out, and their comfortable life risks being blown up.”
“Just because he could? With absolutely no regard for you at all (who he says he loves)? How could he? It’s disgusting and there would be absolutely no way I’d get over such a betrayal of trust,” penned a third.
There were zero signs, and if you’d asked me I would have said we were in the best place we’ve ever been.
Wife scorned
Meanwhile a fourth said: “Absolutely. It’s a myth that there has to be something wrong in the relationship for an affair to happen. Many are simply down to opportunity.”
“He is sorry because he was caught out. Really only sorry about that,” claimed a fifth.
Someone else added: “I honestly don’t know how you’d fully trust that he wouldn’t do it again. I’ve been cheated on & sometimes I find trust hard even when it’s with a different partner who hasn’t cheated on me.”
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