I cheated on my sick wife with her estranged sister – she said her illness isn’t a free pass to ignore my needs
AFTER his wife was diagnosed with a serious illness, one man looked to her sister for an unexpected kind of support.
The husband detailed the circumstances surrounding his extra marital affair.
In a Reddit post, user Disada1 said he felt it was “important to have some backstory.”
The 46-year-old insisted that his affair with his wife’s 20-year-old sister “isn’t as awful as it sounds.”
He revealed that he and his 25-year-old wife have been married for three years and share one child together.
According to the poster, he “always had a good relationship” with his wife’s family.
“Her younger sister, in particular, was always very supportive and nice,” he said.
However, he explained that his wife and her sister had “a major falling out” and haven’t spoken for the past year.
“Throughout the estrangement, my wife’s sister has kept in touch with me through social media and text every once in a while,” the Redditor wrote.
While he maintained that this was normal behaviour before the sisters fell out, he admitted that the messages became more inappropriate over time.
“About six months ago, her contact with me became more frequent and evolved into more flirtatious exchanges,” he explained.
This occurred around that time that his wife “experienced some serious health issues” that he said “began to take a toll on me.”
“Our relationship suffered in the bedroom and I had to pick up her slack around the house after coming home from a long day of work,” he said.
The husband recalled how he secretly turned to his wife’s sister for comfort.
“I began venting to her sister who was very understanding of my position and was a great support for me during this time,” he said.
While his wife left town for a doctor’s appointment, her sister offered to “come over and help” with childcare.
“I was very grateful for the offer and allowed her to come help around the house that night,” he explained.
Four red flags your partner is cheating
Private Investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs your partner might be cheating.
They start to take their phone everywhere with them
In close relationships, it’s normal to know each other’s passwords and use each other’s phones, if their phone habits change then they may be hiding something.
Aaron says: “If your partner starts changing their passwords, starts taking their phone everywhere with them, even around the house or they become defensive when you ask to use their phone it could be a sign of them not being faithful.”
“You should also look at how they place their phone down when not in use. If they face the phone with the screen facing down, then they could be hiding something.”
They start telling you less about their day
When partners cheat they can start to avoid you, this could be down to them feeling guilty or because it makes it easier for them to lie to you.
“If you feel like your partner has suddenly begun to avoid you and they don’t want to do things with you any more or they stop telling you about their day then this is another red flag.”
“Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be tough, remembering all of your lies is impossible and it’s an easy way to get caught out,” says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner’s libido can change for a range of reasons so it may not be a sure sign of cheating but it can be a red flag according to Aaron.
Aaron says: “Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but on occasions, they may also have more sex at home, this is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will start to introduce new things into your sex life that weren’t there before.”
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and to them, it will feel good, this can cause tension and anxiety within themselves which they will need to justify.
“To get rid of the tension they feel inside they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and they will become critical of you out of nowhere. Maybe you haven’t walked the dog that day, put the dishes away or read a book to your children before bedtime. A small problem like this can now feel like a big deal and if you experience this your partner could be cheating,” warns Aaron.
However, the pair did more than housework together during her visit.
“Once my child was put to sleep, things began to get physical on the couch and eventually into the bedroom,” the poster said.
“This has continued for months because my wife’s sister was filling the emotional and physical needs of mine that my wife was neglecting.”
He explained how he was able to keep his infidelity from his sick wife.
“We would carry on the affair every chance we could, using the various properties that I own and was preparing to rent out as rendezvous points,” he wrote.
According to the man, his wife’s sister helped to ease his guilty conscience.
“I felt guilty but her sister assured me that I was in the right because my wife had vowed to care for me in both sickness and health,” he said.
“Just because she was sick, does not mean that she gets a free pass to neglect my needs.
“I thought she had a point and we continued carrying on.”
However, the man he now feels “absolutely filled to the brim with guilt.”
He pointed out that if the affair is exposed, his wife will not only divorce him but it will also create “a huge divide in her family.”
Reddit users shared their thoughts on the situation in the comments section.
“You are a truly terrible person for so many reasons. The best thing you could do is come clean to your wife and divorce her – let her be free from you,” wrote one reader.
“If the age gap wasn’t gross enough, you kept typing, and it got so much worse,” said another commenter.
“You’re so selfish to blame your wife when she is ill and in need of care. Just let this poor woman go, and, in fact, spare all women,” commented a third person.