Devastating: Elton John Is In Critical Condition After Being Mauled By His Own Grand Piano 

It truly doesn’t get more gut-wrenching than this. One of music’s greatest icons could use everyone’s thoughts and prayers right now: Elton John is in critical condition after being mauled by his own grand piano.

Absolutely devastating…what a tragedy, if this is how it ends for Elton. What a tragedy.

Late yesterday evening, Elton John was writing music in his home studio when his grand piano suddenly clamped him in its lid and began “shaking him about like a limp rag doll,” according to the performer’s personal assistant. The assistant watched helplessly as the 1,200-pound instrument then dragged Sir Elton into a corner and continued its savage attack, pinning his neck to the floor with its treble leg, nipping at his flesh with its fall board, and gnashing its keys at anyone who tried to intervene. The mauling reportedly went on for an hour, until handlers were at last able to draw the grand piano’s attention away from Sir Elton with cubes of raw venison. Once Sir Elton was pulled to safety, he was immediately airlifted to Beverly Hills’ Cedars-Sinai Emergency Room, where trauma surgeons went to work treating his wounds and removing dozens of tuning pins and piano strings from his flesh.

According to sources close to the singer, Sir Elton requested that “no harm come to the grand piano” before losing consciousness en route to the hospital. It was a request too late to honor, however, as police on the scene had already doused the instrument in gasoline and lit it on fire. While all of Sir Elton’s arms and legs were successfully retrieved from inside the piano and are set to be reattached today, the musician’s representatives say he’s far from out of the woods just yet, and have asked fans to keep him in their prayers.

Ugh. This is a dark, dark day for music. 

On the one hand, Sir Elton has been lucky to have gone decades performing on that piano without being mauled by it, as many people have considered it not a matter of if something like this would happen, but when. On the other hand, Elton John’s legacy as a piano player will be forever altered, no matter what happens next. All anyone can do now is pray for his full recovery. Hang in there, Sir Elton.